Tom Whittaker's Blog

Thanks to my friend Mark for passing it along & demanding I post it on my blog.

...and her parents rocked!!!

Just kidding, this is not my friend, Becki, but this is. She thought this photo of the big hair days would be great for my blog.

As more and more newspaper boxes go abandoned like the Rocky Mountain News, this may be a great alternative. Perhaps the Denver Botanic Gardens can take some of these over and bring the Gardens to the streets. Very funny.

People are so trusting when they are drunk. Thanks Mark.

Yes, a wink. I find a wink to be totally sexy.

On the way to the bus tonight I dropped my Blackberry, which happens often and the guy walking the other direction picked it up and handed to me. I said thanks, he smiled, winked at me and said no problem. Now, he was not particularly cute and was definitely straight, but his wink made him much more attractive to me.

It got me thinking but I totally find when a guy winks at me to be extremely sexy. Dale is a winker and when he winks at me it always makes me feel special. I think that is what I find sexy about it - that it is subtle attention.

So what do you find sexy? And I do not need to hear tits, asses, pecs or anything like that in your comments, as those are givens. I wonder what things can a person do that you always find sexy? Is it the toss of the hair or a half smile. Oh, I find guys with nice ankles in sneakers and no socks totally sexy for some reason too.

I just read an interesting article on the California Supreme Court upholding Prop 8 banning gay marriage. I have mixed feelings on the decision.

Part of me agrees with the Supreme Court as I do agree that the voters of a state, like California, should have the right to change the state's constitution through ballet initiatives. The measure did pass by 52% to 48%. Now does this mean I do not support gay marriage? Of course not. This is where the mixed feelings come in as I am also disappointed. I feel all gay men and women, including myself, deserve the right to marry the person they love, just like anyone else. We deserve the same tax benefits, legal rights and entitlements that our local, state and federal governments grant with marriage. I just feel 52% of the people of California are ignorant and it is a little wrong to blame 6 of the 7 judges for upholding what the people of that state approved. I feel all Americans should want all other Americans to have the same rights, but I guess that is not the case in most states across our country.

The funniest part of the article was some Catholic Church leader saying it is how God intended as a marriage must be a man and women because a child must have a mother and father in order to grow with the right personality. I am so sick of that claim. If that is the case, I would expect the Catholic Church excommunicating every single parent. The Church has accepted divorce, which often results in a child not being raised by a mother and father. I do not remember widows, widowers or orphans being driven from the Church. It is crap. Don't try to claim that a child needs a mother and father when it is convenient for your cause. Just be honest. It is not God's will or intend. It is just your hatred.

I personally could care less if any church ever accepts me, my life or who I love. I just feel I deserve to not be discriminated by our local, state and federal government for choosing to spend my life with another man. I feel as a society, we need to separate marriage as a religious function. Obviously with a 50% and higher divorce rate marriage is not the sacrament it once was, however until our government stops placing legal entitlements around it we as gay men and women have no option but continuing to fight for equal rights. I personally say ban all marriage or ban all rights based on marriage. Then the church can get over it.

I came across this and found it interesting, so I thought I would share. Daddy I want a Quagga!

One of Africa’s most famous extinct animals, the quagga was a subspecies of the plains zebra, which was once found in great numbers in South Africa’s Cape Province and the southern part of the Orange Free State. It was distinguished from other zebras by having the usual vivid marks on the front part of the body only. In the mid-section, the stripes faded and the dark, inter-stripe spaces became wider, and the hindquarters were a plain brown. The name comes from a Khoikhoi word for zebra and is onomatopoeic, being said to resemble the quagga’s call.

The quagga was originally classified as an individual species, Equus quagga, in 1788. Over the next fifty years or so, many other zebras were described by naturalists and explorers. Because of the great variation in coat patterns (no two zebras are alike), taxonomists were left with a great number of described “species”, and no easy way to tell which of these were true species, which were subspecies, and which were simply natural variants. Long before this confusion was sorted out, the quagga had been hunted to extinction for meat, hides, and to preserve feed for domesticated stock. The last wild quagga was probably shot in the late 1870s, and the last specimen in captivity died on August 12, 1883 at the Artis Magistra zoo in Amsterdam.

Because of the great confusion between different zebra species, particularly among the general public, the quagga had become extinct before it was realized that it appeared to be a separate species. The quagga was the first extinct creature to have its DNA studied. Recent genetic research at the Smithsonian Institution has demonstrated that the quagga was in fact not a separate species at all, but diverged from the extremely variable plains zebra.

Here are 9 more amazing extint animals.

Here is the photographic proof of my hard work. If only we could keep the cranes, raccoons and foxes away, we would actually have koi still to enjoy. We lost 17 over the past two years. I am thinking of just buying some basic goldfish.

As many of you know, Dale has an amazing collection of flowers throughout the yard. We have a pink azalea in the front yard, which has been there for several years, but this is the first year the two azaleas in the backyard have really taken off. Dale is so proud of them, he asked me to take pictures, so I figured I would share.

In case you want to see more.

My dreams are so weird, but so vivid. I wake up and usually remember everything. I always wonder if everyone else has such randon dreams. I remember two of my dreams from last night and figured since I would share, since they are sort of funny.


Dale and I are in the Bellagio Hotel in Las Vegas and we keep running into people I went to high school and college. On the way into the hotel we run into this girl Alicia who lived on my floor freshman year. I ask her what she is doing in Las Vegas and she says she is there for her friend Christy's wedding (who also lived on our floor). I am excited to see her, so I tell her to give me her room number and we can meet up later for dinner or drinks. She says she does not have a room yet. I ask why and she says she never gets a room. She explains how she goes to the casino, will flirt with a man and end up staying with him for the next two days. She says it always works. I think to myself how odd that is because she wasn't a whore in college.

Next, in the spa I run into high school friend Colleen. It is great seeing her. She tells me she is there for her wedding and wants Dale and to go to the ceremony. I ask her when & where and she says at the Bellagio on June 13th. I tell her June 13th was yesterday and she says okay and walks away. I am confused. I cannot tell if she got the date wrong or was blowing me off.

In the casino bar, I run into college friend Dan. I have not seen him since college and he tells me here is there with his wife, Kathleen, who is also a college friend. We have a drink and he tells me he and Kathleen are getting re-married. I tell him that is great and he confesses that they are really getting married, not re-married since their first marriage was illegal, since the minister was really some actor he hired. He tells me Kathleen does not know and that is why he planned the second wedding. He invites me to the wedding. Dale and I go, but I am surprised when I see Tara from the Biggest Loser walking down the aisle instead of Kathleen. I ask dan where is Kathleen and he tells she is sleeping upstaris. Dan proceeds marry Tara and Dale is excited to get her autograph.


I am on the Ellen Show, in particular the Halloween special. She is holding Pumpkin Plinko, based on Plinko from the Price is Right. Apparently, all the contestants are people who love, love, love Halloween and Dale submitted my name. So in Pumpkin Plinko you have to catch real pumpkins as they all off a 40 foot cliff. It totally sucked and was impossible. Mostly because I was scared as hell and was running from the falling pumpkins screaming like a girl. Of course, Ellen kept catching them with ease. The funniest part was the winner got a trip around the world, so Dale kept yelling at me to get back in there. I told him if I pumpkin hit me, it could kill me and he replied that is was for a trip around the world.

I think I will just head back home instead and watch TV for three days.

Dear America,

It is sort of unfair since all of last week was in the 80s & 90s. I guess we will barbecue under an umbrella.

The strange part was Dale was not there, not sure why. I usually invite him to most of my dreams.

However, my friends & neighbors the Krouts were all there. The funniest part was every time I spoke in English, Kate who is two years old, kept correctly me by saying 'en francais' & repeating back what I said in French. She spoke perfect French and her accent was amazing.

The van were were traveling in was packed and it seemed liked every stop was just another gift shop. At one stop there were huge lines for the bathroom and I really had to pee, so I went outside to the parking lot, but some cop car kept circling, so I was afraid to pee outside and get arrested.

Then everyone came outside and got back in the van. The tour guide said the next stop was 1500 miles away (quite the tour, huh?) and hoped everyone had used the bathroom. But I didn't.

That is when I woke up and of course I had to get up and pee.

Catchy title, huh?

It is true! A few weeks ago the new bus driver offered me a piece of candy. I accepted because I feel taking candy from strangers can only lead to good things, right? I assumed he would offer others candy. Nope. Just me. I am special. The obvious reason for the candy was he was either trying to kill or seduce me. Since I am still alive I have decided he is hot for me and likes husky, middle-aged, white guys from the suburbs.

Today his seduction continued when he told me about how he hates working split shifts and is exhausted from starting work at 5 AM and ending at 7 PM. I feel this was his way of sharing an emotional struggle to pull me in closer. Then he asked me my name. Since I am shy, I of course told him my name, phone number, address and the best times to stop by for a 'visit'. What? I am shy.

Oh by the way, his name is Mark. Maybe he is just a super nice and friendly guy, who is just being kind & making conversation, but I think the seduction makes a lot more sense. I think his next step will be to strike up a conversation about how lonely it can be being a bus driver.

Isn't this iris in our front yard stunningly beautiful? It stands over 3 feet high and the story is even more beautiful. Dale's Dad passed in October 2007. Last year, Dale's family sold his house, which he owned with Dale's Mom (passed in 1995) for 45 years. It was the house Dale grew up. In the backyard was a huge patch of the most beautiful purple irises that were planted by Dale's Mom & Dad over 40 years prior. Days before the house sold, Dale and I dug up some of the irises and transported them to our house in several places. We were optimistic they would transplant and come back this year, but after 40 years with one home, it was tough to say. We are happy to report (and show) that they are thriving. This is the first one to bloom. It is a nice reminder of Dale's wonderful parents and it is nice to see the Gloude tradition for gorgeous flowers live in.

Now, I know I have seen this show over thirty times, including the first year with the original cast and right before it ended its' run on Broadway, but I can never pass up a chance to sing 525,600 minutes. Plus the traveling show has two of the original cast members, so that is exciting.

If you are interested in joining Dale and I and making it even more fun, please let me know as we plan to buy tickets in the next few days. The show plays at the Buell Theatre in early June.

And if you have never seen RENT, do not miss this opportunity. It changed me life forever, so who knows it may change your life too.

Yes, I know me, Tom. Yes, me doing yard work. I have re-mulched all the planting beds in the front, side & back yard. Now this may not seem like a lot, but if you have been to our house, it sort of is.

So why me and not Dale? Dale is still feeling under the weather and has a lingering cough, so he could not pitch in as much as normal. He did his best loading the bins of mulch we transported back and forth from the pick up truck to the flower beds.

Thankfully, dear friends and neighbors Sam & Anjanette pitched in and helped me with the backyard and 1/2 the front yard, since they finished up their planting beds. Thank goodness for them or I would still be outside sweating my ass off.

It was a beautiful day and a great mental break from a long week. Even though the Rockies lost, it was still great to sit, soak in the beautiful day and eat peanuts. Plus, baseball players tend to be easy on the eyes.

Play ball!

...I am very happy Kris made it to the final on American Idol, but sad that Danny went home. Danny is a great guy with a great voice. I hope he still finds success.

I predicted it last night. I thought America would rally around Kris as the under-dog and forget about Danny. Honestly, I wanted Adam gone. I think there is just too much hype around him. Yes, he is talented, but every song has the damn screeching.

On a side note, this is the photo of the final 3 that was picked up by a lot of the newspapers. It is ironic Danny is one with his mouth covered. He is the no hear and now he is gone.

Congrats to Kris. Great job. Let's hope you win this damn thing. Go Kris, no Adam.

The event below is being hosted by my company, Bridgeline Software, here in Denver on May 20th. I know it will be a very informative event. Best of all, my co-worker Becki Dilworth, who is brilliant, is one of the speakers. It is free and includes breakfast. If you are interested, register here for the event.

• How to leverage web analytics to drive persuasive content to your users
• How to optimize your web content to gain targeted site traffic and affect user behavior
• How to understand user intent and measure site activity
• Strategies to maximize your web marketing budget
• Techniques to maximize your search initiatives

Call 303-785-3802 by May 15th to RSVP OR register now online.

...with no promise of any return in the future?

On the local News this morning they reported that Social Security gave out more money than it brought in for the first time in 2008. They expect it will keep operating at a loss from this point on and become insolvent in 2037, several years earlier than analysts originally predicted.

That is just around my retirement age and although I do not plan to live on Social Security alone, it seems unfair I am paying benefits into something that will, more than likely, provide me no benefit.

They say you can't rob Peter forever and eventually you have to pay Paul. Unfortunately, in this scenario, I am the Peter being robbed and my parent's generation and prior are Paul.

Obviously the current Social Security and Medicare structure is not practical, but I wonder since most of Congress is already at or within 10 years of retirement age if they even care since this Social Security disaster will not be impacting them.

My Observations:

1. The store is huge, two floors in fact. That is a ton of retail space for footwear.
2. You rarely see anyone entering or leaving the store. I know as I pass this store 10 to 15 times each week.

My Assumptions:

1. Rent cannot be cheap in the Denver Pavilions.
2. The store is actually some sort of CIA type front with a secret underground office for agents.

Think about it. It makes perfect sense. There is no way a store that size is supporting itself on sneaker sales based on the traffic they have coming in and out. Nikes are expensive, but unless they are selling for $5,000 each, something does not add up. Niketown must be government subsidized and like something out of Alias, the store sits above a secret office. Plus I imagine most CIA agents must be in good shape, so what better cover than a store for in-shape runners. It all adds up.

If I 'disappear' tonight after posting this then it is obvious I got too close to the truth. If I am around tomorrow, this reinforces I am sort of a dork.

Today when I got on the bus the bus driver offered me a piece of wrapped candy from a big bag. I took a piece and said thank you. I am actually sucking on it right now.

Based on the size of the bag, I assumed he would be offering everyone a piece of candy today. I thought to myself how sweet.

I am the first stop for the bus and before departing two more passengers got on at my stop. Neither were offered candy. We have already had about 20 people get on the bus and none were offered candy.

So here I sit wondering why me. Why did he give me candy? Here are the only possible answers:

1. The bus driver is a nice man and gave me candy because I am always friendly to him. I ask him how he is, about his weekend, etc. It was like a lollipop for a kid after not crying during a haircut. I am being rewarded.

2. My breath was horrible yesterday and he went to Costco last night and bought the largest bag of candy he could find, so he never has to experience my bad breath again.

3. He is hot for me and offering me candy was the first step in his ultimate seduction of me. He hopes one day I will be calling him Daddy. And can you blame him?

4. He is crazy and the candy is laced. It will slowly dissolve in my system, knock me unconscious, at which point he will kill me, cut me up and wear my skin as a jacket.

5. He found the bag of candy on the bus yesterday. Fearful it may be laced, he figured he would give a piece to the chatty dork who gets on at the first stop in the morning and if I lived, he could enjoy the rest of the bag.

...I am feeling a little sleepy.

Source: Wall Street Journal's Photo Journal

I am at Floyd's waiting on Heather to give me a haircut. Sitting here, I have notice how awkward tipping came be for some patrons.

Some people hand their stylist a tip, smile and say thank you. Other people hand the tip like it is a secret and can barely make eye contact. It is like tipping is somehow dirty. Or maybe they are embarrassed the tip is not enough.

It is mostly men who are the later and seem the most awkward with tipping. My guess is they are used to handing money to hookers and that money exchange usually involves little eye contact. Just my guess.

Now, I am not embarrassed by tipping and make it an event. I slap the stylist on the ass, call her Sugar Tits and throw the tip on the floor. It is even funnier when the stylist is a man.

Nobody will be a bigger cheerleader.
Nobody will be a better friend.
Nobody else will cry right along with you when your feelings are hurt.
Nodoby will care more when you’ve been defeated.
Nobody will think of you more often.
Nobody else will love you no matter what.
Nobody else will think you’re the best at whatever you attempt.
Nobody will believe in you more.
Nobody.

A Mom is a precious gift that does not last forever, believe me, I know this. I lost my Mom six years ago. Cherish every moment you can share with your Mom. I know I did. I was blessed to have Melinda Madelyn Mary O'Brien Whittaker as my Mom and my friend, but most of all for helping me become the man I am today. Take a minute to honor your Mom, whether she is with you, far away or has departed this world.

Take a minute to honor those women who are great Moms and have carried on such an honored tradition. Honor the women who would make your own my Mom proud. Women like my sister, Rachel Hanley, whose five children know they not only have a great Mom, but a great friend. Women like my neighbor, Nicole Krout, who is raising her three children to see and appreciate the joy and love in the world. Women like my friend & co-worker, Becki Dilworth, who is raising her daughter to understand there is more to this world than toys & cartoons, but love, compassion and friendship. Great women like these, who are also great Moms.

Happy Mother's Day to each and every Mom. Thank you for all that you do each and every day!

Although my Mom passed, I still think of her often and love her dearly. I know she is missed & loved every day by those she loved, including me.

Once again Dale and I were cashier assistants at the Denver Botanic Gardens Annual Plant Sale. The morning was a combination of great weather and great people, which made for an even greater day. It was a lot of fun and the time flew by.

It was nice to see our friends from the Gardens - Robin, Kellyn & Matt. Plus we got a see a few friendly faces come through our line like Mike & Erin, Amy Beth, Nikki, & the Hadley Clan, including new adorable baby, River. He is a week old and so darn cute.

A great way to spend a morning and the sale goes all afternoon, so check it out!

I stumbled across a photo blog called The Frame and just had to share these amazing photos.

↑ A cyclist and a car make their way during a windy dusty day near a village of Kuhty, 63 miles south of Minsk, May 1. There has been no rain in Belarus for the last month. AP / Sergei Grits

↑ Moss phlox flowers are seen in full bloom in Hitsujiyama Park on May 2, 2009 in Chichibu, Saitama, Japan. Over 400,000 pink, white and purple 'Moss Phlox' in approximately 16,500 square meters attract many local visitors during the holiday season named "Golden Week" in Japan. Getty Images / Junko Kimura

↑ A villager holding umbrella to protect himself from sun, walks over parched land on the outskirts of Bhubaneswar, India, Saturday, May 2. At least 18 people have died in a scorching heat wave that has swept through more than a dozen Indian states, the weather department and officials said Friday. AP / Biswaranjan Rout

↑ A couple kisses on the flooded Piazza San Marco (St. Mark's Square) on April 27, in Venice. The "acqua alta" (high water), unusual for this season, stood at 130 centimeters the night before the waters are expected to recede. AFP / Getty Images / Giuseppe Cacace

↑ Tourists stand in the Blue Lagoon outside Reykjavik on April 26. The Blue Lagoon's blue and green waters come from natural hot water springs flowing through rocks of lava. The lagoon might have some health properties. AFP / Getty Images / Olivier Morin

↑ A scarecrow guards a field in Haarlemmermeer, Netherlands on May 4. AFP / Getty Images / Koen Suyk