I know shocking, huh? A big guy like me, attacked. Let me fill you in on the details. Dale and I are up in Dumont, CO (near Idaho Springs) staying with our friends Matt & Michelle at their wonderful cabin. The cabin is beautiful and sits along a wonderful mountain stream. It is so peaceful here and as a bonus, on a weekend when Denver is in the 90s, it is only in the 70s up here. Simply put, it is heaven in the woods.
So back to my attack, sorry. You are probably curious.
So around 10:30 PM last night - Dale, Michelle, Matt and I were settled in around the TV watching Gran Torino, which by the way was the best movie of 2008 and got robbed at the Oscars. Anyhow, we were deep into Clint Eastwood's racial slurs and enjoying a little red velvet cake for desert, when BAM, out of nowhere a giant bat comes swooping across the room. It continues to dive bomb us and try to bite us with its' rabies infested fangs for what seemed like an eternity. I suspect, but have no proof, that this was a vampire bat.
Being the quick thinker that I am, I quickly jump out, balancing red velvet cake in hand and ran right out the front door. Matt soon followed with a blanket over his head. I could not blame his as that bat was defintely out for blood and looking to make us a part of it's vampire cult. I wanted to rush back inside ad battle the bat, but I am a morning person, so I knew I needed to stay outside to protect myself from an eternity of roaming the Earth at night. I love breakfast too much to take the chance of becoming a vampire. Plus I had not finished my cake.
As Matt and I continued to guard the front porch, Michelle and Dale transformed into some sort of Buffy the Vampire Slayer fighting duo. As the bat swooped and attacked, Michelle and Dale fought back with ninja-like stealth. Suddenly pillows were weapons and room doors were closed as they continued to isolate the beast. All of a sudden, the bat must of sensed he was out numbered and took refuge in the back bedroom. With cat like agility, Dale and Michelle leaped into the room an locked themselves in with the monster.
Meanwhile, on the front porch, I continued to snack on my delicious red velvet cake. With the blanket still on, Matt continued to do his best to protect his hair, which may seem selfish, but I must state he does have a nice head of hair. Every once in a while we screamed, just so we could feel like we were a part of the action. Looking back, I personally feel our quick thinking of guarding the porch may have prevented the bat's army of friends, hiding in the nearby trees, from joining the fight.
Back inside the cabin, in the back bedroom, Michelle and Dale continued their battle with the night demon. Michelle ran across the room risking injury to herself and opened the back door. Like a lioness defending a cub, Dale charged the bat and chased it out into the night. The bat flew at a frenzied pace knowing it had been defeated.
We got the safety nod from He-Man and She-Ra (aka Dale and Michelle) and headed back inside. Neither Michelle nor Dale understood the importance of Matt and my role in guarding the porch and spent the rest of the night seeing me as little else than a coward with cake and Matt as an impersonator of Michael Jackson's youngest son 'Blanket'. But we are the true heroes. Dale ad Michelle defeated one bat, while Matt and I scared off an army of bats. You be the judge.