Tom Whittaker's Blog

This blog posting is pretty damn funny, as we have all experienced people like this (for example the creepy guy above) at parties. Check it out for a laugh.

They are all years. Duh!

Sorry, I couldn't resist.

The actual answer is these three years sucked for at least 18 days. Why you ask? The Denver National Weather Service records show the highest consecutive streak of 90-degree days is 18 days and it happened three times - once in 1874, again in 1901 and yesterday.

Yes, it is hot as hell and it has been that way for 18 days in a row. The sad part is that the record was tied yesterday, but it will probably be destroyed as the forecast shows 90 degree temperatures (and a few 100 degree) days over the next week. We may end up with 23 consecutive days over 90 degrees on Tuesday, 8/5/08 when the weather is finally expected to cool off and hit the high 80s.


I am so desperate for some low 80 or high 70 degree days. It feels like Dale and I have not done anything outside in so long. Now for those of you who are not in Denver, you may be thinking 90 degree temperatures are not that bad. Well, I have lived back East and you are right - humidity does suck. However, Denver's altitude makes everything feel warmer. So if it is 99, like it is forecasted to be tomorrow, it will feel like 109 in the sun, which is not enjoyable.

So today I would like everyone to take a few minutes and email Mother Nature to let her know we are done. We are done with the warm temperatures. We are done with the heat. We refuse to accept anymore. Please be firm in your requests. I assume her email address must be mom@mothernature.com. Thanks.

Le ballon
by ddbparis

This animated short is touching and beautiful.

I came across this interesting article on CNN.com about SLY DIAL, which is a service that allows you to call someone's cell phone, but connect directly to their cell phone rather than reach the person. In essence, it allows you to call them without their phone ringing. I tried it on Dale's phone and it sort of worked. His phone rang for about 1/2 a ring and straight to voicemail. Here is the article:

New service helps callers avoid awkward cell-phone moments

NEW YORK (AP) -- The old song had it right: Breaking up is hard to do. But a free new phone service called Slydial might make it easier to get through that and other awkward moments -- without actually having to talk to anyone.

A new service lets you leave a cell-phone voice message without -- horrors! -- actually talking to someone.

Slydial lets you connect directly with another person's cell phone voice mail, bypassing the traditional ringing process that often results, sometimes disastrously, with someone picking up on the other end.

Users call (267) SLY-DIAL from either a cell phone or a landline and are prompted to enter another person's cell phone number.

After playing a short advertisement -- unless users pay a subscription fee or 15 cents per call to skip ads -- Slydial puts callers directly into their target's voice mail.

Recipients should then get a voice mail notification, and sometimes they will see a caller's number show up as a missed call, too.

Gavin Macomber, co-founder of MobileSphere Ltd., the Boston-based communications company behind Slydial, thinks it can be useful not only in the dating scene but in the hectic business world.

"Everybody has gone through the scenario where they've called somebody and just hoped they got voice mail so they didn't have to have a conversation," he said.

Indeed, Nora Rubinoff, 45, who runs an administrative support company, At Your Service Cincinnati Ltd., has found Slydial helpful for both business and personal situations. She has left reminder messages for people one of her clients intends to interview.

And when her husband travels to a different time zone for work, she can leave him a Slydial message without disturbing him at an odd time of day, she said.

"It's been really handy," she said.

Macomber said the idea for Slydial came while MobileSphere developed the voice mail routing component of a service meant to lower the cost of international roaming on cell phones.

The company rolled out a private test phase of Slydial in March and has added about 5,000 users since then. The service opened to the general public in a "beta" testing phase Monday.

The ability to call straight into someone's voice mail is not new. Most major cell phone carriers offer subscribers the option of sending voice messages to other people, but usually only to customers of the same wireless company. What's different here is that Slydial makes it possible to do it with any major wireless carrier's customer.

There are constraints to this service. It can be used only in the U.S. right now, and generally won't work with prepaid cell phones. Also, sly dialers must have the caller ID feature activated on their phones, which Macomber said is meant in part to prevent people from using it to harass people undetected.

It's also not always super sly. Several test calls between cell phones made the recipient's phone emit an abbreviated ring before leading to voice mail. That might make people think the person on the other end really wanted to speak -- and could result in a quick call back. Horror of horrors: A real conversation might ensue after all.

I find it a weird reflection on the readers of my blog when a post about me almost being killed only warrants 1 comment, but a post about a weirdo in a plum uni-tard warrants 5 comments.

Happy birthday to my co-worker and friend Sara. She has experienced 10,957 sunrises and sunsets as of today (give or take a few for leap years and time of birth) and probably brought just as many smiles to the people in her life. Best wishes for a wonderful year!

P.S. - I love this picture because it has argyle and skulls, which I feel shows the many sides of Sara - bad ass, but with style and sophistication.

I am so excited for this (yes I am a geek). Seth MacFarlane, the creator of Family Guy (and a man I worship) has announced he is following up to the Family Guy's Star Wars: A New Hope spoof, Blue Harvest, with a spoof of the Empire Strikes Back, which will be titled Something, Something, Something Darkside. If you have never seen a Blue Harvest - go see it now. It can be seen on iTunes. It is brilliant, especially if you love Family Guy and the Star Wars movies.

While driving home from work tonight in my Mini Cooper, I was driven off the rode by a 24 foot Budget rental truck. I am not exaggerating when I say driven off the road. There were 3 lanes:

• The rental truck was in the lane furthest to the left.
• I was in the middle lane.
• Nobody (fortunately) was in the lane on the right.

The rental truck went from the far left lane and merged directly into me. He/she did not cut me off. He/she merged right into the side of my car. He/she did not see me at all and did nothing when I hit the horn. I was forced into the far right lane and slammed on the brakes hard going from 35 MPH to 0 MPH in about 2 seconds to avoid being hit. My tires honestly created smoke and my heart honestly felt like it was in my throat. If there was another car in that right lane, I would have been crushed.

To make matters worse, it was all so the driver of the rental truck could pull into the Westminster Mall. So it was not like he/she was pulling over for an emergency or something important. He/she was driving reckless so he/she could go to JC Penney or perhaps eat at the Olive Garden (which I like, so I would not be as mad). The saddest part was the driver never seemed to notice what he/she caused or slowed down. I do not think he/she ever saw me next to the truck, which is quite scary. I have known for a long time, most people do NOT know how to drive large rental trucks.

The "ironic" part is that I used to work for Budget Truck Rental for years and they are still a client of the web development company I now work. So how funny is that? I was almost done in by the truck of a company that I have spent years trying to help. I know this is not the strict definition of irony. It is more the Alanis Morissette definition of irony. You know like a traffic jam when you're already late or a no smoking sign on your cigarette break. I guess it is more cosmic irony than actual irony, but still weird.

If this guy is this much of a fan, I do not want to join that club. My apologies to my friend Kath.

I got an email from a friend from college who was asking for a link to a post I wrote several months ago about my fear and hatred of berries. She could not find it and wanted to share with a co-worker who she also found has a phobia of berries. For all those out there who hate the berry, here you go. This was originally posted on Saturday, February 9, 2008.


See, I was right. Berries do kill. Just look at that at the poor big-headed bastard with the flies and crow ready.

As some of you may or may not know, I have several quirks to my personality that quite frankly make me - well, me. One of these is my phobia of berries. I know it sounds crazy.

I often refer to berries as filthy. Most people object as they love the berries. Yeah, yeah - I get it. People like berries. But be warned, they are not just filled with yummy delicious taste like you think, but some also contain urine. Yes, you heard me - urine.

No, again I am not crazy. Let me explain. Growing up I spent some time here and there at my Aunt's house. She and her family used to pick berries in a nearby field. Their dog used to accompany them. Their dog used to pee on the berries. Yes, pee. Light leg, aim, fire. The weirdest part was their dog was a female, but still used to lift her leg, but let's not get started on that.

Okay, now my Aunt would always wash the berries. Quite thoroughly actually. But who the hell wants to eat a berry that a dog was pissed all over. Especially their own dog. Washed or not, you watched your dog pee on the berries you then picked on your next trip. Yuck! And quite weird honestly.

Now, I was never really a berry person before the "urine incident" but this did not make me love them anymore either. In most cases when I have eaten berries I find them gritty (seeds in your teeth, yuck). However, to show that I am not totally crazy, I have actually eaten a few berries in the past month or so...I have had strawberries in my cereal, yogurt and even added them to a salad. Yeah me. Progress. And it did not take a bit of therapy.

Just so you know the berries are not the only other weird things. There are a few others, so we might as well just get those in the open too.

1. I buy ALL my shoes 2 sizes bigger than my feet. I am a 10 1/2, but most of my shoes are a 12. The reason is that I do not like tight things on my feet, but I also sucked at tying my shoes as a child, so I think I got accustomed to having shoes I can slip on or slip off. My Mom was left handed and she taught me how to tie my shoes, but I think she taught me backwards. I am not completely sure. (This was recently proven when I went to Europe and Dale convinced me to buy shoes in my size since we would be walking a lot. By day 3, my feet were filled with blisters, I could barely walk and had to buy new sneakers in Paris that were 2 sizes bigger than my feet.)
 

2. I have never drank a cup of coffee. I had Cuban espresso once on a business trip (or host demanded it) and I did not sleep for what seemed to be six days, but I have never really tried coffee. I had coffee ice cream as a kid and hated it, so I applied that taste to all coffee. Dale has "fibbed" to me a few times and convinced me that his drink from Starbucks was NOT coffee so I would try it and you guessed it, it was coffee. I did not like the taste. Again, people find this weird as they do love their coffee.

3. I like peanut butter and I like chocolate, but hate peanut butter and chocolate treats like Reese Peanut Butter Cups. Yuck. Again, both are great separate so why do we need to ruin a good thing. I also like corn and chocolate, but doubt they would taste good together either.

4. I say "plug it out" instead of "unplug". Okay, this was purely my Mom. If she wanted you to unplug the vacuum from the wall, she would say plug it out. This is what I learned and what I stick to. I have to agree with her though. If you plug it in, why would you not plug it out. Seems logical.

5. Although relish comes from pickles, I hate relish and will not let relish touch my food. I have even gone as far as to wash a spoon that has touched relish BEFORE I use it to remove pickles from a jar. Dale finds this humorous, but pickles are not relish or vice versa. Pickles are delicious and filled with goodness. Satan created relish.

Okay, I am sure there are hundreds more, but in general these are the things that make me crazy and the person I type before you today. So although I have given in a bit on the berries, I warn you...wash them. Wash them real good as you never know.

If I forget an other cute personality quirks about myself, feel free to add a comment and tell us about them. It is ok. I can take it.

Today Dale and I got haircuts at Floyd's Barbershop which is our usual ritual every few Sundays. On this trip Dale ended up with Travis, who I mentioned in a blog posting back in January (one of my favorite posts - click here to re-read it).

Travis is gay (this is no secret, believe me) and often likes to ask Dale and I about our gay vacations, favorite gay bars and well, quite honestly "what we do that is gay" when he cuts either of hair. Usually Dale and I have little response as we go on vacations, not gay vacations, so Travis gets confused. We do not go out to bars that often - gay or straight and are not really into the gay scene like Travis, so again Travis gets confused. I do not fault Travis for his interests, but for Dale and I, being gay is a part of who we are, but it does not define us. I find it comical as Travis cannot understand that.

So anyways, Travis was his usual self today and told Dale about his and his partners 8 day trip to Las Vegas (okay, firstly, who goes to Las Vegas for 8 days?) and how they ran out of money after 6 days. They had to spend 2 days just hanging out in the hotel room (back to my point of why you do not go to Las Vegas for 8 days). He mentioned to Dale and he and his partner (sorry, name unknown) may go to California to get married (as marriage is legal in California).

Dale said, "why?" and Travis said because it is legal. Dale explained that it did not mean anything in Colorado, so it carried no legality here, even though legal in California, which Travis knew. Dale further explained Travis and his partner would probably be better off using that money to put wills in place and a good power of attorney document, in case either were ever in an accident or were sick. This way the other would have powers to make decisions and act on the others behalf, which is not allowed for gay men under the law, without such documentation (this is something Dale and I had did a few years back).

Well, Travis probably once again thought Dale and I were bad gays, as this is no fun. Flying to California and having a wedding is fun. Wills and documentation is boring. The funniest part was when we got to the car Dale told me about Travis' plan to go to California to marry, my response was the same as his and I said, "why?"

However since coming home, it got me thinking more about this topic. To me it seems pointless to fly to another state to pay for a wedding or ceremony that brings you no legal rights. You might as well just hold a ceremony here. I feel a ceremony or wedding does not make your commitment any stronger. If you are committed, you are committed. Honestly, with divorce rates so high in this country, marriage is a joke to me and something that does not seem worth fighting to obtain.

What I do believe in is the right to have the same tax benefits and legal benefits whether gay or straight and I do not feel that these state and federal rights should be tied to marriage, but unfortunately that is how it is today.

So once again, Dale and I are bad gays and not following the gay majority heading to California for a little ceremony. Mostly, Dale and I would probably just fight over who gets to be the bride and who gets to be the groom (we all know Dale is the bride, right?).

What does everyone else think? Would you go and do the wedding if it meant nothing? Is the ceremony more important that the rights?

Check out the proof.

One of the things I love best about summer is all the flowers and plants around our house. The front is especially nice and Dale does an amazing job. This year we purchased the hanging baskets and plants for our planters from the annual Spring Plant Sale at the Denver Botanic Gardens. As you can see these plants are especially beautiful.

Tonight Dale and I went to a party with our friends and neighbors Sam and AnJanette.

AnJanette invited us to join them at her friend Eric's BBQ and backyard screening of the movie Priscilla Queen of the Desert in South Boulder.

Basically, Eric (and his boyfriend Eric) set up a stereo system, projector and sheet for a movie screen in the backyard. Once it got dark it was a backyard drive-in theater, with the cars replaced with lawn chairs.

It was a total blast - nice people, good food and a fun, original concept. The weather was perfect.

I don't think I have seen the movie in 14 years when it came out in 1994 and Dale, Sam and AnJanette have never seen it - so that made it fun.

Eric and Eric even had one of the large red popcorn machine for the event, so it felt like you were at the movies.

On the way home we commented to Sam and AnJanette that it was fun to go to a more gay-themed type event, as we rarely do that. AnJanette joked that she was more in the gay community than us. It is funny because it is true. Oh, well. We are who we are. And at least we stayed out past 10 PM.

Our thanks to Eric and Eric for being such great hosts and inviting us to such a great event.

1. Yuck, I hate berries
2. Nobody should wear that much lipstick or gloss
3. Icky girl lips

Dale just woke me up from my nap. We are going to a party tonight, so in order to stay awake past 9 PM I planned on napping for a few hours. I now plan to be cranky the rest of the evening. I do not have a picture of my face when Dale woke me up, but I feel it must look something like this photo.

Look no further! This is our neighbor Kate. She is only 1 years old, but seems to do a pretty good job. Now, you have to pick her up as she cannot drive, but I bet she works fairly cheap. As a matter of fact, nevermind. I may start using her as Dale is falling behind in his chores.

This morning Dale and I went crawdad hunting. Yes, crawdad hunting. Shocking, huh? I know we do not seem like the hunting types, let alone hunting for crawdads. Don't know what a crawdad is? Well, a crawdad (also known as a crayfish) is a freshwater crustacean found in many rivers and streams in North America. They look similar to a lobster, but are much smaller.

Check out - ZombieHarmony. This is a great site. Very funny.

Quite the headline, huh? I like unnecessary knowledge. For some reason, it feels necessary to me.

1. During their periods women's middle fingers shrink. No one knows why.
2. An adult giraffe's kick is so powerful that it can decapitate a lion.
3. The clown fish has the ability to change its sex. If a breeding female dies, the male fish will change its sex and mate with another male.
4. The brain continues sending electrical wave signals for 37 hours after death.
5. During World War II, the very first bomb dropped on Berlin by the Allies killed the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo.
6. Every year approximately 2,500 left-handed people are killed by using object or machinery designed for right-handed people.
7. Between 1902 and 1907, the same tiger killed 434 people in India.
8. In “Silence of the Lambs”, Hannibal Lector (Anthony Hopkins) never blinks.
9. Charlie Chaplin once won third prize in a Charlie Chaplin look-alike contest.
10. 45% of Americans don't know that the sun is a star.
11. If you keep a Goldfish in the dark room, it will eventually turn white.
12. When the divorce rate goes up in the United States, toy makers report that the sale of toys also rise.
13. The word “lethologica” describes the state of not being able to remember the word you want.
14. Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors.
15. Julius Caesar’s autograph is worth about $2,000,000.

Please feel to share your unnecessary knowledge.

Today was my follow-up visit to my Chiropractor, who I fondly refer to as the "Quack" or "Hippie Doctor" since he specializes in chiropractic, reflexology, acupuncture and other more alternative medicines. I went to him last Friday as I had been experiencing severe lower back pain for about 4 days. It ended up being gallstones, which is something I experienced 3-4 years ago.

The weather is perfect outside tonight.

Can I sleep outside? Dale said no.

http://view.break.com/359028 - Watch more free videos

This is very funny and worth checking out.

A father passing by his son's bedroom, was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and that everything was picked up and tidy. Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed,'Dad.' With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands.

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing to you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I've been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her, because of all her piercings, tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am.

But it's not only the passion, Dad. She's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't, really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with the other people in the commune, for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.

In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit, so you can get to know your many grandchildren.



P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Jason's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the School report that's on the kitchen table.

Dale came across this show on Saturday on the Discovery Channel while I was lying on the couch with back pain. They had a marathon and 2,000 episodes later (okay, I may be exaggerating; maybe) Dale is hooked. He loves the show and now has all new respect for crabs. At least it was not a home show.

On Saturday night when we went to dinner Dale mentioned the show and everyone at the table (well except me) said, "I LOVE that show!"

Am I the only person who does not watch this show?

After my posts Ugh!, At the Doctor and Someone Kicked Me in the Balls (Twice) I have been asked and received several emails from people asking how am I doing since visiting the "quack". Well, I am hanging in there.

• Lying down - no pain (this is my favorite position).
• Sitting - I would say my pain is now down to a 4.
• Standing - I would say my pain is down to a 2.
• Walking - I would say my pain is down to a 6.
• Changing from lying to sitting or sitting to standing or any change in positions - I would say my pain is still a 8 or 9; this is where I suffer the most.
• Running - come on; I am not crazy enough to try this and I barely ran before the gallstones.
• Skipping - I cannot resist skipping, so even though it is a 7, I still do it.

Today my friend Becki and I somehow ended up on an IM chat about childhood television shows. The Magic Garden was one of my favorites, but was more of a NY, NJ & CT program. It was great. You would sing, learn jokes and sing more. There was a pink puppet that was named Sherlock the Squirrel.

I came across a few clips on YouTube to share. The second has the Chuckle Patch, which I loved because it was flowers that giggled and gave the hosts jokes to read.

After watching the clips, it is now obvious that I was gay at a very early age, as this show was pretty gay and I LOVED IT.

The funny part is the two women who starred on the show in the 70's still perform the show on the road today. I want them for my next birthday party.

I came across this on StumbleUpon and it is well worth the listen. If you are in a relationship, hearing these voicemail messages will make you never want to be single again.

The back story on this is that a girl named Olga was out with her friends in the Marina district of San Francisco and she talked to this guy named Dmitri for all of two minutes. Then she gave him her card and said “give me a call.” The above is the messages he left. Listen to the whole thing, it just keeps getting better and better.


http://view.break.com/527579 - Watch more free videos

"Life isn't measured by the number of breaths we take,but by the number of moments that take our breath away."

I stumbled across this and thought it was funny.

New Boss

A large company, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO. The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers.

On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning on a wall. The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business. He walked up to the guy leaning against the wall and asked, 'How much money do you make a week? A little surprised, the young man looked at him and replied, I make $400 a week. Why? The CEO then handed the guy $1,600 in cash and screamed, 'Here's four weeks' pay, now GET OUT and don't come back.'

Feeling pretty good about himself the CEO looked around the room and asked, "Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-ball did around here?" From across the room came a voice, 'Pizza delivery guy from Domino's.'

This morning Dale and I went to see the movie Mamma Mia. I have been looking forward to the movie for several months, as I am a big fan of the stage musical. Overall, I was disappointed with the movie. Was it horrible? No. Was it great? No. Did it meet my expectations? No. Was it mediocre? Yes.

Tonight Dale and I joined our friends Mark & Eric for dinner at our favorite restaurant Bloom at Flatirons. This is not why I am an idiot. We had a wonderful time with Mark & Eric. They are both so enjoyable and genuine, so spending time with them is always fun.

The food at Bloom was delicious as always too, this why it is our favorite local restaurant. They have good food and great service. Unfortunately Dale's favorite waiter, Matthew was on vacation in Hawaii. I am surprised he did not call Dale to let him know he would be away and I bet he saved up all our tips for that trip.

So onto me being an idiot. We had a great dinner and since Mark & Eric treated last time, Dale and I treated tonight. We were laughing and talking, so I did not pay close enough attention to the check. We usually tip 20% or 25% at Bloom, since we love it so much and they have top-notch service. We tip 30% for Dale's favorite waiter, Matthew since he flirts with Dale.

However tonight I screwed up. The bill was $199.47 and for some reason 25% stuck in my head, but $25.00 was written on the check for a tip. I tipped $25.00 on a $199.47 or 12.5%. I realized it on the way home when Dale asked how much was dinner. When I said $200.00, plus a $25.00 tip the light bulb suddenly came on. Duh!

So we were halfway home, but we turned around and headed back to Bloom to give our waitress another $25.00, taking the tip to 25%. Dale went in and explained that we screwed up and were very sorry. I imagine he probably explained I have gall stones too and I am medicated, so I am not in a right mind. None the less, we made it right and I feel much better. I feel waiting tables is a tough job with low pay and for some tips make all the difference. Our waitress tonight was very attentive and kind, so she deserved to get a good tip. So I am an idiot, but Dale and I made it better.

I had my 1,000th post on this blog a few days ago...I didn't even realize until today.

Wow, I wish I had posted something more profound for this milestone. Oh well, I do like pretty photos so maybe it is okay - this was the post. Again, not very deep or profound.

I am a numbers guy, so here are the numbers:

• First post - 10/23/07
• Last post - today
• Days of blogging - 271
• Total posts - 1,011
• Average posts per day - 3.73
• Posts that were interesting - 12 (just kidding, probably was less)
• Visits to blog - 39,457

Top 5 Most Visited Blog Posts:

1. What Type of Sick Person Are You?
2. Lindsay Lohan 10 Years Later
3. Leap Day Is A Bust
4. I Need to Confess My Guilty Pleasure
5. Elvira Topless!!!

Some favorite 21 posts (why 21, well everyone else does 10 or 20):

1. Waking Up Too Early from 6/6/08 - I can be very random sometimes, but for some reason I like that about myself. I got a bunch of positive comments and emails about this posting too.
2. I Hope She Is Still Smiling; Remembering My Mom from 01/04/2007 - This post was a late night reflection on the 5th anniversary of my Mom's passing. I miss her dearly and she is part of who I am today.
3. Piglet, It's Me Trina from 12/12/2007 - I love this entry because it shows my sister and I are in fact related, although she tells everyone I was adopted. How do I know? Any her and I could find this memory funny.
4. This is very un-Vegas baby! from 3/22/08 - the post is not much, but the memory is great. This was one of my favorite days this past year. It was silly, stupid and just Dale and I enjoying our life together.
5. If You Only Had A Minute, What Would You Write from 12/13/2007 - It is a very sappy post, but it made me think a lot of how fortunate I am to have Dale in my life.
6. Second Child Syndrome from 01/04/2007 - This post gets a ton of traffic from Google and is really just about my dogs, but I still think it is was of my best written posts.
7. Spring Fever from 4/20/08 - I just think this post captured the joy of the season I was feeling at the time. It was fun to re-read.
8. Are Blogs Just A Form of Reality TV from 01/15/2008 - I like this one. It got a lot of traffic. A lot of comments. I think it is fairly well written too as it gives my opinion why I feel people read blogs.
9. Thanksgiving Memories from 11/22/2007 - This is the posting where I really started to find more voice as a blogger and become more reflective on my past and who I am today. It also was very difficult to write as it brought up a lot of sadness as I always miss her around the holidays.
10. Colorado's Newest Lake Located Close to I-25: Boat Permits on Sale This Saturday from 02/08/2007 - This posts tries to put a positive spin on the sink hole on I-25. Now I thought this post was hilarious, but comments and traffic did not follow, so perhaps not. Maybe it will be funnier after time...sort of like the movie Office Space. A flop in theaters, but huge on cable.
11. Train Gossip from 6/28/08 - now I doubt many readers found this particularly interesting, but I could be wrong. This was my favorite post from our vacation. I personally found it hilarious and a fun attempt by me to bring fiction and non-fiction together.
12. I Admit It, I Want To Be Linus from 11/27/2007 - I have written several posts on my love of cartoons, in particular cartoons from Peanuts and those great claymation cartoons from the 70's.
13. Ready to Laugh? Hilarious & Inappropriate Video from 2/2/2008 - This video is so damn funny. I think Sarah Silverman and Matt Damon created something genius.
14. I Tried Not To Laugh, Honestly from 7/19/07 - okay, I know I posted it today, but still very funny and I think it says a lot about human nature. If you do not laugh at the kid, you are a saint. Even Dale laughed.
15. I Need to Confess My Guilty Pleasure from 3/24/08 - I loved all the comments and emails I got from this post. It was fun to hear everyone else's trashy guilty pleasures on the TV.
16. Dale may be trying to kill me from 3/19/08 - I love this post and I am still suspicious of Dale trying to kill me.
17. This post contains language and is a bit inappropriate from 6/12/08 - this post got no comments and few hits, but I found it so damn funny.
18. Top 5 Reasons I Hate the Post Office Today from 02/09/2008 - Sometimes it just feels good to vent.
19. Dog Diary vs. Cat Dairy from 6/7/08 - again, this made me laugh out loud, so I had to share it.
20. Dog Bloggers from 10/19/2007 - It is just a photo Dale took of me on my laptop with the pups, but if you are ever wondering where I do most of my blogging, this picture should give you a great visual.
21. Elvira Topless from 11/04/2007 - This is one of the most viewed page on my blog. It is just a picture of me in my new mini-cooper convertible, but there are a lot of men (and some woman too I assume) looking to see the Mistress of the Dark's breasts. I bet they love seeing some gay guy in a car. Somehow that makes me happy.

It was on the News the other day that Excel Energy would be turning off electricity at 47,000 homes in the Denver Metro due to lack of payment in early August. The News interviewed several of these families and it was horrible - feed children or pay electricity. Pay mortgage or pay electricity. These are not good choices. These are unfair choices to make any person face. Could you imagine? It is sad and heartbreaking.

Okay, when I watched this I felt the woman on the left was horrible and felt bad for the kid on the right. However, at about 45 seconds I could not resist laugher either. I am a bad, bad man.


http://view.break.com/285075 - Watch more free videos

http://view.break.com/366174 - Watch more free videos

I wonder if she watches this now and laughs. Probably not.

No, that is not my bank PIN, garage code or even the code to my luggage. It is the combination to our safe, which is located in the....just kidding. These numbers represent our morning.

Tonight Dale, myself and our friends Sam and Anjanette went to the opening of The Dark Knight. Let me start by saying the movie was AMAZING. It was action packed and well worth seeing. I do not know if words will describe the intensity and darkness of this movie, but I will try.

Heath Ledger owned this movie. He made the movie from start to finish. His performance blew me away. With all the hype, I figured I would walk away from the movie feeling his performance wasn't worth all the buzz. I was wrong. He truly made the Joker dark, yet comical with a dose of insanity and creepiness. Incredible. His performance as the Joker is, in my opinion, the best comic book movie villain ever. His performance makes you forget you are watching a movie and an actor. You feel you are truly just sitting watching insanity. His mannerisms, odd twitches and licking of his lips are hypnotic.

What surprised me is that the movie was not a fun, summer Hollywood movie like Batman Begins. Instead it is an intense, dark tale about humanity that at times seems hopeless and depressing. Several of the plot twists actually surprised me, which is rare for these types of movies.

Another huge plus of the movie is no Katie Holmes. She sucked in Batman Begins and Maggie Gyllenhaal is much better. She made the role much more believable and actually had chemistry with Christian Bale.

I only had a few minor issues with the movie. Firstly, Batman tries to disguise his voice when Batman, but he had more dialogue in this movie than Batman Begins and honestly, his garbled voice became a little annoying. Also, the Scarecrow makes a cameo in the first 10 minutes that made no sense to me. Why was he there? It served no purpose.

So go see this movie this weekend. You will not be disappointed!!!

Not to mention Neil Patrick Harris brilliance.

Check it out, but hurry because online rumors say the site will only be up a few days as iTunes purchased it and be charging to download each episode.

Yes, Apple is taking over everything, even funny online skits.

Watch Dr. Horrible.

This was the photo I took in Chicago earlier this week that did not display on the blog when I posted on Monday. Beautiful, huh?

Okay, I am home from my trip to the Doctor for my back pain. I went to the Hippie Quack Chiropractor that Dale has been to and my neighbor Nicole recommends.

I went in feeling like my back would explode. I now feel like I was run over by a truck. I honestly feel like someone kicked me in the balls (twice). He said that was natural for the next few hours based on how be bent and moved me. I am sure it is not the best visual for you, but it is how things feel in that area. Not pleasant.

The man kicked my ass but said long-term it would make me feel better. I want a job where I get to hurt people and tell them long-term it will help them. Where do I sign up?

However all in all, my back is feeling slightly better. I can now bend a bit and can move from sitting to standing without making a face of agony. To get to feeling slightly better it took the doctor pushing, poking, prodding and basically snapping me in ways that seemed very unnatural. He quickly saw that my right and left side were out of balance, which seemed easily to diagnose based on how I was slumped over. He also found lots of tension points.

The Doctor also does reflexology, "natural" and more "alternative" medicines, which is why I fondly call him the Quack or Hippie Doctor. I find Chinese medicine fascinating and someone who has seem how screwed up the medical industry can be, I am all for alternatives.

The Doctor did conclude my gallbladder is in fact the cause of my back pain, along with my liver. He did things to get my gall bladder meridian in line. This involved a laser and pin stuck in my little toe and in my neck. Again, not the most natural, but hopefully it means I get to keep my gall bladder. Actually the laser and needle in my toe hurt like a bitch. He also gave me a herb to help with my body processing fat, since my gallbladder is being uncooperative.

Long story short, I am hopefully on the road to health. I go back next Thursday and at that point hopefully I will be back to normal.

Once does everyone else think - do alternative medicines work?

I hate the doctor. Well not personally. He seems very nice. I guess I hate the fact that I need to be at the Doctor's Office more than the man himself.

I hope he does not read blogs and find out that I said I hated him.

OMG! Does this mean we will have to walk more than 20 feet for a Starbucks? Ugh.

Curious as to what locations will be closing I did a Google search and here the locations that will be closing in Colorado.

1. 121 ST & SHERIDAN - 12161 SHERIDAN BLVD. - BROOMFIELD
2. CONIFER TOWN CENTER - 27191 MAIN ST. - CONIFER
3. 16TH & WYNKOOP 1750 - 16TH ST. - DENVER
4. COLORADO & ALAMEDA - 320 S. COLORADO BLVD. - DENVER
5. DENVER NEWSPAPER AGENCY BLDG - 101 W. COLFAX AVE. - DENVER
6. COLFAX & WADSWORTH - 1509 WADSWORTH BLVD. - LAKEWOOD
7. HWY 119 & MARTIN - 15 KEN PRATT BLVD. - LONGMONT
8. THE SHOPS AT CENTERRA - 5897 SKY POND DR.- LOVELAND
9. HWY 34 & DENVER - 1385 N. DENVER AVE.- LOVELAND

Tell me this is not the most amazing photo. First glance they just look like flowers. Closer inspection you notice they are all butterflies.

Okay, I know he seems annoying, but truthfully this kid is addictive, genius and pretty damn funny. Dale thinks his video are the dumbest thing ever, but he is wrong. They are funny.

Check out more Fred.

It may be the pain killers but here are the words and phrases I liked in my last meeting and what went through my head in parenthesis:

Coolest globe ever (why thank you)
Rest assured (I will)
Deer in headlights (rude comment)
Oh my God (OMG)
That will make lots of folks come (oh my)
Laying down solutions (down by the riverside)
Social arena (now fight)
Gonna be really cool (it is)
In the throws of going through vendors (new to me, I have heard throws of passion)
Kittens and topless women (that Becki)
Bow-tonic (enough said)
Travel the world and be home by dinner (I like chicken)
In fairness for the kids (it is always the about those kids)
Big caveat (I prefer my caveats in bite sizes)
This globe thing (don't point)
Yeah, totally need to be there (we do)

I would like everyone to write a story using these words. Please add these stories as a comment.

My back hurts.

That is all.

That is not true. There is a lot more. My back hurts a lot. I am fearful it may be gall stones. I had this problem several years ago and it was gall stones. Ugh! I go to the doctor tomorrow. Hopefully they do not go the "take out his gall bladder" route. I have been taking pain pills like tic tacs. That is not good.

But of course I am simple and find things like this funny.

Woke up at 6 AM.
Watched Mad About You and Designing Women while getting ready.
I like Paul Raiser, Helen Hunt and Annie Potts.
I do not like Jan Hooks or the woman who played Julia Sugarbaker. (cannot remember her real name).
Continental breakfast - bland.
9 hours of meetings.
Working lunch.
Learned lots.
Crazy traffic to the airport.
I hate rushing for a plane.
Rushed to catch my plane.
2 1/2 hour flight to Denver.
Finished book, You Suck by Christopher Moore
Liked book.
Woman next to me said she liked Lamb by Christopher Moore.
Gave her You Suck for next flight to California.
A literary pay it forward.
Landed.
Long drive on runway to terminal.
Early, so waited for gate.
Waited 20 minutes.
Yes 20.
There was no air while waiting.
So close, yet so far.
Dale picked me up.
Yeah.
I missed Dale.
A lot.
45 minute drive home.
Tired.
Back still hurts a bit.
I have taken a lot of aspirin and back pills in 48 hours.
May be addicted.
Probably not.
Chicago was nice.
But missed Dale.
Missed home.
Missed the puppies.
Missed my bed.
Finally home.
Good night!

I did make my flight with about 5 minutes to spare. Yeah!

I am stuck in traffic on the way to the airport in Chicago.

Flight leaves in less than an hour.

I am getting nervous. Ugh!

This blog post and video is dedicated to my friend AnJanette who is a huge fan of Beverly Hills, 90210 and I am sure the new Beverly Hills, 90210.

I am off to Chicago this AM for a work meeting. I am not very perky this morning, not that I would ever use perky to describe myself. Why less than thrilled?

1. It is Monday. I barely like to wake up Monday at all, let alone to go to the airport.

2. I hate airports. Security sucks. I hate taking off my shoes, belt and watch that I just will have put on a few hours prior. I hate lines. I hate limiting my liquids. I hate getting on the plane and having to fight to find room for my bag (which always seems to happen to me). I am also convinced I have a metal plate in my head that my parents have never admitted as I have a tendency to set off the metal detectors even when practically naked.

3. I am assigned to a middle seat. This totally sucks. I am not what you call slender, so I am not a lover of the middle seat. So now I am headed to the airport early in hopes of an exit row at least with an aisle or window.

4. My lower back is killing me today for no apparent reason, which will only make my middle seat even more enjoyable today.

On the plus side I am looking forward to meeting more of the people that are a part of the company that Indigio was acquired.

Okay, I love Marie Digby. I think she is one of the most original and talented singers to come along in a long time. I love that she records her own little videos of new songs and uses YouTube and MySpace as platforms to get her songs to her fans. She is great. Here is her latest new song, which is titled swoon. It is a great song and concept,as we have all swooned for someone in our lives.

Here is what she wrote about the song, which makes me love it even more.

I've been writing a bit while out on the road... I am in Allentown PA today and thought I'd take a minute to record this new song ;) I found a nice little nook behind the hotel and in order for me to make the video happen .... I found an abandoned chair in the parking lot (missing an arm) and a shopping cart which I used to prop the computer with the camera. Hope you like it! - Marie Digby.

http://view.break.com/534959 - Watch more free videos

Since I am flying tomorrow I found this especially funny.

Yes, I am jealous for a little weiner. Not in the way you think. Well, maybe the way you are thinking. Who am I to say.

Last night Dale and I went to the Aimee Mann/Marc Cohn concert at the Denver Botanic Gardens. It was an incredible evening.

Today is a great day as it marks my five year anniversary with Dale. We celebrate our first date, which was July 8, 2003.

I am so thankful and fortunate to have Dale in my life and I am so proud to call him my partner. He is truly a gift and I love him dearly.

On our 1-year anniversary Dale and I bought rings to celebrate and we have continued that tradition and buy new rings each year. This year's ring was purchased in Venice, so it is a wonderful reminder of not only our 5th year, but our wonderful vacation. We are both wearing these rings today.

In case you are wondering how we met, I blogged about it a few months back, so check it out and learn all the details.

Happy Anniversary Dale and thanks for putting up with me for 5 years.

In case anyone is wondering about gift ideas, I think you give wood for 5 years, so a stick, log or something widdled would be grand.

Happy Birthday to my good friend and disco diva Barb Pemble. Oddly enough I thought she turned 39 last year, but Barb she swears she is 39 this year. No matter what age, Barb is a joy and I wish her a wonderful and happy birthday filled with family, friends and love.

The weather is absolutely perfect outside right now. After a few hours of clouds and rain, the sun is now shining. Dale and I could not resist the high 60 degree temperatures and headed out for a ride in the convertible. It was a great little trip and a good way to end our vacation.

Last night Dale, myself and my friend John,, who is visiting from Michigan, headed to our friend Mark & Eric's for dinner. I have known Mark & Eric for about 7 years having met the couple through my friend John. With John in town visiting, Mark & Eric thought it would be nice to get some of John's Colorado friends together and also invited his friends Brian & Steve. It was a fun evening with great food and great friends. It is always nice to just sit on a patio, hang out with good friends and relax. As always, Mark & Eric are wonderful hosts.

In other good news, I actually slept last night. The past few nights we have been home, I have only slept 3-5 hours. Jet lag seems to have been playing havoc with my system, but last night I got 10 hours of sleep and feel much better today.

Today is our final day of vacation. We are headed for haircuts and grocery shopping (we do not have much in the way of food in the house). Tomorrow is back to work and the real world. It has been a wonderful 3 weeks with Dale and the vacation of a lifetime.

Work should be interesting tomorrow as Indigio was purchased while I was gone. I knew this was in the works, so it was not a surprise. We were purchased by Bridgeline Software which is a Massachusetts based company, which has locations throughout the United States and a location in India. Change is always tough on a company, but hopefully it will be a smooth transition.

If you haven't seen WALL-E yet, I highly recommend it. I went to see it today with my friend John and loved, loved, loved it. Great for kids, kids at heart or adults who just like good movies.

My Fourth of July was good.

We ran for it and caught the earlier flight to Denver. We were the last two on the plane.

That means we got to skip a 4 hour layover in Chicago and just landed in Denver.

Yeah!

There is nothing good about a 10 1/2 hour flight. Nothing!

Thankfully Dale, my iPod and my book make it bearable (not necessarily in that order - just kidding).

If you have not read A Long Way Down by Nick Hornby it is a pretty good read. I read it on this flight. It is about suicide. A read a lot on death this trip as my other book

A Dirty Job by Christopher Moore, which was amazing, was about the Grim Reaper.

I have slept a total of 2 hours on this flight. By the time we get home to the house Dale and I will have been up 24 hours straight.

Europe was worth it, but as a society we really need to invest some funding in teleportation.

Well the trip to the airport (or in our case to the airports) was a disaster.

Our driver showed up at 7:30 AM right on schedule. This was the last thing to go well.

He asked which airport and we said we didn't realize there were two. He looked at our voucher and it was the airport that started with a "C" and we were off.

We arrived in 30 minutes, but once inside saw no American Airlines and realized the airport was small, more regional than international. So Dale asked a police officer who barely spoke English but managed to say other airporto. The other one starts with an "F".

So off to the taxi stand where we ask to go to the other airport where 5 taxi drivers proceed to fight and argue over who has to take us - I do not know much Italian, but I know yelling and now am sure I know a few swear words now in Italian.

Finally one who speaks okay English agrees and says fine come with me. We are down to 30 euros having used most of it Wednesday not wanting to have to exchange since the Exchange Office may be closed when we get in at 8 PM and is not in every terminal.

So we ask him how much and all he keeps saying is meter, meter get in. We finally get him to understand we only have 30 euros and he finally tells us it will be at least 50 euros and likely more. He says he will take us to an ATM first, so off we go to find an ATM. We arrive and I get more euros.

Next we make the 50 minute drive to the other airport. They said it would take 75 minutes, but luckily traffic was not too bad and he drove like a maniac to get is there.

We arrive and he says go to Terminal C. It cost is 90 euros. Thankfully I took out enough at the ATM.

We go into Terminal C and no American Airlines. We ask a nice woman who works for an Italian airline and she says we need to take a shuttle to Terminal 5 for US flights. That takes a bit of walking to find the shuttle since the spot for the shuttle in front of Terminal C was closed. Finally the shuttle arrives and we pack in with too many people.

We arrive at Terminal 5 and wait in line for American Airlines. They check passports only.

We go into another room and wait in another American Airlines line for boarding passes.

We are sent to another room and another line - this one is security.

Another room and another line - passports again.

We think we are done, but now go into a room to wait for a bus to take us to...guess...you guessed it - back to Terminal C.

All this and we are now sitting in front of our gate, just in time for the flight to board.

This was far too stressful of a morning. All because our paperwork told the driver the wrong airport.

Our only saving grace was probably not having bags to check.

Okay time to board and try to relax now.