When Harry Met Sally...

I had a request a few weeks back to blog about how Dale and I met. So I decided to go with a When Harry Met Sally theme (isn't the poster great). Since I am on the left of the poster I that makes me Harry and Dale would be Sally. I know fitting, isn't it?

When asked how we met, I usually give me response prison because I think it makes a nice visual for people, but sadly it is not true. I think two men meeting in prison would make a great movie of the week and I think Mario Lopez and Mark-Paul Gosselaar (they played Zach and Slater on Saved by the Bell) would be perfect for the leading roles. Firstly, they are likely to star in a movie of the week based on the level of their career and secondly, they would be fun to watch with no shirts. I digress.

Okay, how did Dale and I met, right? Here goes:

1977. Tom Whittaker and Dale Gloude share a long car ride from the University of Chicago to their new, post graduation lives in NYC. En route, they discuss whether two men can be friends, without sex getting in the way. Concluding that they cannot be friends, they part ways upon their arrival.

Five years later. Tom and Dale share a plane flight. Dale is now in a relationship with Joe, while Tom is about to form a domestic partnership with Hank. Once again, Tom explains why two men can't be friends, even if they're in a relationship with other people. They part ways again once the flight is over.

Another five years later. Dale tells her friends, Mark and Al that he and Joe broke up, while Tom tells his friend, Jesse that Hank has left him. Tom and Dale meet again, in a bookstore, and over dinner discuss their lives. Tom is surprised to realize he has a "man friend", and they go on to have late night phone conversations (about Casablanca, for example, and whether Ingrid Bergman should have stayed with Humphry Bogart at the end of the movie), go to museums, and so on.

Dale feels uncomfortable telling Tom he is dating again, but he encourages him to do so, and tells him about his dates. They discuss his relationships with men, and Dale fakes an orgasm at a diner, to show him it can be done. Over dinner, Tom tries to match Dale to Jesse, while Dale tries to match Tom to Mark. Mark and Jesse end up together.

Four months later, Tom and Dale are shopping for Jesse and Mark's upcoming commitment ceremony, when the bump into Tom ex-domestic partner. Later, we learn that Dale is now dating Gary, while Tom is dating Evan but when Dale learns that his ex-boyfriend, Joe, is exchanging rings to someone else, he calls Tom in the middle of the night. He comes over to comfort him, and they end up having sex.

Not sure how to handle the situation, Tom and Dale grow apart. At Jesse and Mark's commitment ceremony they have a fight, but sometime later, during a new year's eve party, Tom comes over and tell Dale that he loves him. They kiss and, later, move in together, and buy a dog.

I know, it is a tear jerker. I cried a bit just typing this. Oh wait, that is because it is When Harry Met Sally, just turned gay (I think they need to make the movie, again Mario Lopez and Mark-Paul Gosselaaer would be perfect). That is NOT how Dale and I met. Sorry.

Okay, the real story. It is sometime in May 2003 and Dale and I match profiles on Match.com. I know, you are thinking internet dating, how tacky, right? When Harry Met Sally is a lot more exciting, believe me, but I do know this.

Dale emailed me first and we chatted back and forth via email for a while. I had to give Dale my phone number twice (yes, I know, twice - can you believe it) before I was finally able to convince him to call me (I practically had to beg him to call me). Either he was playing hard to get or was shy, but I find either to be endearing. We used to have long telephone conversations on the phone that lasted several hours, but felt like minutes. I loved those conversations and getting to know him.

Right around the time we decided it would be fun to go on an actual in person date (late June 2003), I went off on a family vacation with my sister, Rachel and her family to Disneyland in California (if anyone ever tells you the drive across Utah is enjoyable, they are liars and you should punch them in the face). So I shaved my head (always wanted to get a complete buzz cut and why not for a two week vacation; I looked like a serial killer - really) and headed to sunny CA. I did not talk to Dale while I was on vacation, as the trip was really for the kids, since my Mom (and their Grandmother) had just passed away January 4, 2003 after a long battle with cancer. Disney was one of her favorite places and she had taken the kids several times to Disney World, so it was almost a memorial. The trip ended up being tough because it was a constant reminder of her and probably none of us were ready for that, but we did our best.

When I returned, Dale and I decided it was time to meet and our first date was dinner at Wolfgang Pucks at the Denver Pavilions (no longer there) on July 8th. I remember Dale had butternut squash soup (which seemed to excite him and still does actually) as an appetizer and I had the salmon on a bed of mashed potatoes and asparagus sauce (it was what I always got there and miss to this day). Dale was quiet on the date and seemed a bit nervous, but was so genuine and sincere, it was hard not to want to wrap him up and take him home.

We dated a lot throughout the summer and would often meet in Cherry Creek since I lived in Centennial and he was in Arvada. It was a central point, so we did movies at the Cherry Creek Mall, walked through Cherry Creek, met for long dinners. By the Fall of 2003, we were together every weekend and usually met up a few nights during the week too. We talked every night and I was in love. I was really in love since July quite honestly (as I knew instantly he was the one), but being the pessimist I am, I expected Dale to have a secret boyfriend, a wife, was running from the law or worse yet, was a cat lover and the whole thing would be over.

I actually told Dale I loved him for the first time one night when I got totally drunk at a bar (I know, me drunk). I was my bad level of drunk. I am not a mean drunk, but an extremely happy drunk. So happy I buy ever person in line drinks. I tip bartenders so much they can buy cars the next day. I was a mess. But I was having fun, it was a beautiful night, I was with the man of my dreams...everything was aligned. Well, except I was such a mess, I threw up in Dale's brand me SUV (he had owned it for days) on the way to his house. I had spaghetti for dinner, so use your imagination. Somehow, Dale got me to his house, cleaned me up and took care of me. I told him I loved him and spent the next day hung over on his couch. He took care of me and made me feel like the most important person in the world. That was actually the last time I got drunk, not that I often ever did.

By December 2003, we were casually talking about moving in together someday, but one day we stumbled across our soon-to-be dog, Zoe (she had no name at the time) at a friend's pet store. She was sweet and once Dale held her he was hooked. He said we could only get her if I moved in to help. Isn't that the cutest thing ever? I know you are now crying like the end of When Harry Met Sally. So Zoe was the excuse we used to move in together, so on December 17, 2003 I moved in with Dale and we have been together ever since.

He is my best friend, my soul-mate and I am thankful for every day we have had together and looking forward that he will be the person I spend all the rest of my days with. He is loving, caring and in many ways probably too good for me...but he always makes me want to be the best person I can be...so I guess that is how I know it is love and meant to be. See, I can be sweet.

My thanks to Dale's niece Sally for requesting this blog posting. So that is the story of how I met your Uncle Dale.

Update:  Since this was originally posted in February 2008, I admit that I have been drunk. Thankfully Dale is always there to get me home and into bed. - Tom