I hope she is smiling; remembering my Mom

Today is a sad day for me as it marks the fifth anniversary of my Mom's passing. My Mom (Melinda) left us on January 4, 2003 to what I hope and pray is a better place. A place where she would no longer suffer or feel pain. A place of warmth and love filled with family and friends who had already left her. A place where she could smile once again.

I miss her each and every day. I do not think enough words or the right words exist to express the love, admiration, joy, respect and devotion I feel for her. She was my rock. The person I could always turn to. The person who loved me no matter what. The person who knew all my scrapes, smiles and stories. The person who made me feel safe. The person who made me feel important. The person who made me feel loved.

My Mom was only 53 years old when she lost her fight with ovarian cancer. That is far too young for such a beautiful spirit to be taken from her family and this world. It is hard to believe she has already been gone for five years. Five years, when I only had thirty years with her, seems so impossible in comparison. It is amazing how fast time moves.

In have scanned two pictures of her, as I know many of you never had the opportunity to meet her. The top picture is one of my favorite pictures of my Mom. It was taken before I was born. I remember my Mom told me once when looking through photos that it was taken of her at a New Year's Eve party. It was either the year before or after my sister, Rachel was born (I don't remember which, but do remember it was after she had married my Dad), so it is either taken 12/31/68 or 12/31/69, which means she was 18 or 19 years old. I love this photo because I think we all forget that our parents had lives before we were born. They were crazy. They went to parties. They lived life. My Mom looks so happy in this picture. Her whole life is before her.

The second picture is another favorite, as it shows what brought her true joy - her family. This particular picture was actually taken by me the day my oldest niece, Kristin, came home from the hospital in June 1990. My Mom was such a loving and proud Grandmother. She loved my nieces and nephew so much. They were her life.

I am so thankful to my Mom for so many things. She was so selfless, worked so hard and gave so much to ensure that my sister and I had everything she did not have growing up. My Mom had a very tough childhood and she made sure that my sister and I were loved and had more opportunities that she or my Dad did as children.

She worked just as hard to ensure her grandchildren had all the things that she could not afford to give my sister and I growing up. Some of my fondest memories will be the vacations we had as a family in my early 20's. The trips to Disney will always have a special place in my heart. My Mom made vacations, holidays and all-time spent together so much fun. She lived life and helped all of us know not to take things to seriously. Most of all, she taught us family and the people you love are most important. I hold that true to my heart to this day.

I am thankful for every day I had with her and love her dearly. I miss her. I came across this poem by Susan P. Schutz a few weeks back and thought it was a fitting tribute to my Mom.

When You Have A Mother

When you have a mother

who cares so much for you

that anything you want

becomes her desires

When you have a mother

who is so understanding that

no matter what is bothering you

she can make you smile

When you have a mother

who is so strong that

no matter what obstacles she faces

she is always confident in front of you

When you have a mother

who actively pursues her goals in life

but includes you in all her goals

you are very lucky indeed

Having a mother like this

makes it easy to grow up

into a loving, strong adult

Thank you for being this kind

of wonderful mother.

For those of you who are reading this and fortunate enough to still have your Mom in your lives, please do me a favor. Please visit, write, email, call or even twitter her a message. Let her know what she means to you. Honor her. Love her. For one day, everyone will have to suffer through losing their Mom. You will look back and be happy that you told her how much you care. I did this and I have no regrets, as I know my Mom passed knowing she was loved. She passed knowing her made a difference in the world, a difference in the life of her family and a difference in my life.

I hope my Mom is smiling and one day I will get to see that smile again.