Longing For Hawaii

At this exact time last year, Dale and I were in Hawaii. I want to be in Hawaii right now. I want warm, sun, sand and fun.

I Love Kathy Griffin

Dale and I watched Kathy Griffin's new comedy special tonight on Bravo called Straight to Hell. This special was hilarious, just like all the rest. If you have not watched one of her specials or checked out her show, My Life on the D-List, you are missing out. She is f-ing hysterical. She's not just for the gays anymore...well mostly not.

Remember When Garages Were For Cars?

I came across a great blog entry while on Digg tonight from the WallStreetFighter Blog that I thought I would share. It is very true and something to notice more and more in my neighborhood. It drives Dale crazy that so many people park their cars outside in a neighborhood where everyone has a three car garage.

Something I've noticed more and more as I drive around the neighborhood is that everybody is turning into a frickin packrat. We're not talking about middle income here, we're talking $300,000 plus homes and $30,000 vehicles. You think the dumps are full? Just think of how full they would be if people started throwing stuff in their garages away and started pulling in their cars?

Something new, something old

Okay, am I the only one who schedules holiday cartoons on his DVR?

I am sorry to say that Shrek the Halls does NOT compare to A Charlie Brown Christmas. This is not great and not destined to be a classic. If you missed it for shopping at REI, dinner at Red Lobster or playing Rock Band, do not worry...you did not miss much.

However, Dr. Suess' How the Grinch Stole Christmas is a classic and I did enjoy it tonight. It is the 40th anniversary of the cartoon. Where to start?

Firstly, Dr. Suess was a genius. He was able to create worlds. Worlds of wonder.

The cartoon was directed by Chuck Jones, best known for every good Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck cartoon. I still can remember as a kid sitting with my Dad laughing at the classic Looney Toones cartoons. He introduced me to the joy of cartoons and showed me that even adults can love cartoons. But back to Chuck Jones...another genius.

I love the song You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch! The lyrics are pure fun. How can you not "love stink, stank, stunk".

Max the dog is a great character. He is the ideal dog. He just wants to please and bring love. He is the love to the Grinch's hate, the smile to his frown and the ying to his yang. I adore him. Max rules.

I must admit the Whos of Whoville are slightly creepy. Very odd body shapes. There is a part of me that would want to still their roast beast and who hash too. Is that wrong?

I love the ending where they all come out and sing together. Joy.

I Admit It, I Want to Be Linus

I am watching A Charlie Brown Christmas on my DVR. I recorded it earlier tonight. This is probably the 25th time I watched it...I am sure I must have missed a few years.

Some thoughts...

I have said it before, but I will say it again...Linus is the purest, most beautiful character ever written.

Charlie Brown breaks my heart, but makes me smile.

Sally is the perfect sister. She is needy, but loving.

Snoppy reminds me of my dog, Zoe. I think if she had a dog house, she would decorate it with holiday lights too. However, she would eat Woodstock most likely.

Best quote ever, as I know ever child thinks this. Sally in her letter to Santa - "Dear Santa Claus, How have you been? Did you have a nice summer? How is your wife? I have been extra good this year, so I have a long list of presents that I want. Please note the size and color of each item, and send as many as possible. If it seems too complicated, make it easy on yourself: just send money. How about tens and twenties?"

I love that Schoeder is misunderstood.

Lucy is the typical older sister...poor Linus. If I was a psychiatrist and female, I would legally change my name to Lucy Van Pelt to see if anyone caught on. I doubt many would...but I bet if they saw her name in the Yellow Pages they would pick her, thinking they heard of her somewhere, but not sure where.

I love when Sally flirts with Linus.

I love it even more when Linus wears his blanket as a shepherd's headdress. I admit it, I want to be Linus.

The scene where they all dance rocks...let's face it...we've all done this dance. If you have not, do it now. Dance, dance!

The pitiful Christmas tree...tear...it shows that Christmas is over-commercialized.

Final thoughts: Charles Shulz was a genius and Peanuts is forever timeless. Merry Christmas Charlie Brown.

Sleepy

I had a rough time waking up this morning to head to the gym with Dale. We did not go to the gym yesterday since it was our first day waking up early post holiday. So this morning the guilt set in. However, today was still tough too. It seems 4:30 AM comes far to quickly. I even went to bed early last night to try to make sure I was rested enough to get a good workout, but I was still tired.

The workouts have been tough for November. I seem to be making very little progress in my weight loss. I lost 20 pounds initially in September and October, but seem to be at a standstill this month. Dale and I are being less strict on our diet too, so that is not helping.

I need to get focused again!

Our Own Thanksgiving

Since Dale and I spent Thanksgiving with my sister, Rachel and her family (and had a great time), we had our own Thanksgiving dinner today with turkey, potatoes, stuffing, green bean casserole and gravy. Thank you Dale for a wonderful meal. Yum!

Bad Parents

This is a rant. If you do not feel like reading about me complaining - stop now. (If you do not want to hear anything except positive, happy thoughts, please move onto the next blog entry - it is about my favorite songs and is much happier).

I find it amazing how clueless people can be. How they can become caught up in themselves so much that they lose sight of everything going on around them. Today, Dale and I went to Floyd's Barbershop to get our haircut, like we do every three to four weeks. However, today the environment was far from relaxing.
There was a family there made up of five children (three boys, two girls) and the parents. The parent took absolutely NO INTEREST in watching their own children, who spent most of their time fighting, running around or carrying in snow from outside to throw at each other. The children were not the worst part - it was the Mother. She spent the entire time on the computer booking a trip for late February for her and her husband (who was just at the barbershop to watch TV apparently) to Puerto Rico. She spent all her time yelling to her husband about what dates to pick and what flight times to select across the entire place. She would yell:

"What time do you want to leave?"
"Are the dates okay?"
"Why can't we come back on a Tuesday?"
"I am booking our seats. Do you want the front or back of the plane."

Every damn person knew their travel plans and how impressive it is that they are going on a get-a-way to Puerto Rico. It was so annoying.

What would have impressed me would have been if she controlled her children and perhaps took an interest in what they were there for - haircuts. At one point, one of the stylists came all the way over to her to ask if she wanted to look at her daughter's haircut, since she was done and BEFORE she got out of the chair. The Mother said, she trusted the hairdresser. So over came the daughter to her Mother, who then told her that her haircut was not short enough. So she sent her back to the hairdresser. Here is a thought, take three seconds from your vacation planning and pay attention. I part of me hoped they just butchered one of the boy's haircuts to prove a point (I have included a picture of what I would have liked), but it would have only hurt the boy and not the Mother.

I cannot believe that someones life is so full that they have to utilize their time at the barbershop to book travel and I hate bad parents.

 Sorry to complain, but to bad parents everywhere - get a clue. They are your children, so pay attention to them. It is your job to teach the correct behavior and correct the wrong behavior. Also, nobody cares about your travel plans. I personally hope the flight is delayed, they lose your bags, the hotel is overbooked, you eat something bad, you lose your passport and perhaps you get a rash. Bon voyage.

3 Favorite Songs of the Week

One of my favorite musical artists is Seal. This past week I found myself listening to him several times on my iPod. I find his voice soulful and his lyrics meaningful. I love that his songs range from those that are slow and melancholy to those that are upbeat, dance hits. Some of his slower songs have even been remixed to make amazing dance songs. It shows the versatility of his music.

On a side note, I love that he has named several of his albums simply Seal and that he never released his 2001 album, Togetherland because he felt the music was not worthy. I feel he puts out music because he loves music, not for the commercial success. I also like that his name is actually Seal (it is not just a celebrity name). In an interview with Heidi Klum I saw a month ago, they asked him his full name and it was far too many names to remember, so I looked it up and it is Seal Henry Olusegun Olumide Adeola Samuel. It makes you understand why he goes by Seal.

In terms of Seal songs that I recommend - all of them, as there really is not a bad Seal song. But here are my three favorites:

Future Love Paradise from Seal's 1991 debut album Seal. Most people know the bigger hit, Crazy (be sure to check out Alanis Morisette's 2005 remake) from this album, which I also like, but Future Love Paradise is a beautiful song and my favorite Seal song so far. Personally, I love the lyrics, in particular:

There were future power people

From the loved to the loveless
Shining a light 'cause they wanted it seen

Well there were cries of why

Followed by cries of why not

Can I reach out for you if that feels good to me

Killer (Acoustic Version)
from Seal's 2004 album, Greatest Hists Album: Best 1991 - 2004. This song was originally from his 1991 debut, but the greatest hits album features many of his hits remixed in an acoustic version. This version is far less intense than the original and in a way very enchanting. This version allows you to focus more on the beauty of the lyrics and the soulful voice of Seal. Again, the ability to create different versions of his songs shows the unique version of Seal's music.

Amazing from Seal's 2007 album System. This song is from Seal's new album out this month. The song is energetic, upbeat and something that makes you want to dance. I love it. There are several dance versions, of which I recommend the Kaskade Remix. The best part of this album is it is a return to Seal's dance roots, similar to his 1991 debut. But with Seal, it is dance music with meaning, soul and depth.

You now the holidays are upon us and you are in a shopping mall...

Since Dale was at his Dad's house cleaning out the basement and garage, I figured this was an excellent opportunity to continue my holiday shopping, in particular gifts for Dale.

For me, holiday shopping is just as much about people watching, as it is gift buying. The mall was not very busy today, but I still made several observations. Here is what I learned:

You know the holidays are upon us and you are in a shopping mall...by the appearance of far too many kiosks clogging up the already crowded walkways. Two kiosks in particular always scream holidays to me - Hickory Farms and the Day by Day Calendar. For me, Hickory Farms is actually a unique childhood memory. Growing up, Hickory Farms was always a place where we bought one of the gifts for my Grandmother (maternal). I am not sure why, but apparently the woman liked beef sticks. The other gift always seemed to be a new comforter. Again, not sure why or how she needed a new one each year. Anyhow, thanks to grandmothers everywhere and your favorite Aunt Ida, stores like Hickory Farms remain in business.

You know the holidays are upon us and you are in a shopping mall...by the sight of hundreds of bored husbands. For me, it is always funny to watch the husbands trailing behind their wives with a total blank stare and dead look. The wives go on and on, talking of relatives and gift ideas, while the husband say little to nothing, except, "That sounds like a good idea." I doubt they remotely care if Aunt Ida gets a cookbook or not. They just want to get the hell out of the damn mall.

You know the holidays are upon us and you are in a shopping mall...by the sight of hundreds of misbehaved children. Again, boredom. Unless you are shopping for toys and the toys are for them, they do not like the mall (except for the pet store and every candy machine) and they too do not care about Aunt Ida and her love of Cajun cooking.

You know the holidays are upon us and you are in a shopping mall...by the attack of over-eager, over-caffeinated and overzealous store clerks. This is especially true when the mall is slow, like this morning. At some of the stores I walked into, I was the only customer and greeted by 3-4 clerks. My favorite of the day was a rather jolly man at Brookstone that greeted me by saying, "Hi Chief...what can I help you hunt down today?". Now, if I was quick minded, I would have asked for his buffalo herd section, but I simply said, "Oh nothing...just looking."

You know the holidays are upon us and you are in a shopping mall...by the sound of the most random holiday songs you have ever heard. Now we all know and love the classics, but it seems the mall likes to have a lot on shuffle, so they dig deep and find songs like Billy Ray Cyrus singing Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree or Britney Spears singing All I Want for Christmas. Now neither are good songs or anything that evoke good will and cheer. Both are reminders that sometimes bad singers can make lots of money and use the holidays to try to keep their failing careers going. I did hear Miss Piggy singing Santa Baby and that did make me very happy.

You know the holidays are upon us and you are in a shopping mall...by the sight of mothers trying to drag their terrified children into the line to see Santa Claus. To me, there is nothing that says love of the season, than a child wetting himself by the sight of an overstuffed man in a fake beard. And let's remember, it is not important that your son or daughter is traumatized and probably will need years of therapy. It is important that Aunt Ida in Traverse City, Michigan gets a wallet sized photo of your child crying on jolly old St. Nick's lap. Priorities people. Today for fun, I bought a cookie and a milk and sat in a chair overlooking Satan's Wonderland...I mean Santa's Wonderland to watch the festivities. I can report than more children are scared of Satan...I mean Santa, than not. And for children reading this blog, I joke. Satan is a nice man....jump on his lap.

You know the holidays are upon us and you are in a shopping mall...by the swarms of cars circling around the parking lot and the line of cars waiting for you to leave your parking spot. This morning when I left the mall around lunchtime, I probably had one of the best spots. It was an end spot that was only fee from the entrance of Macy's. I felt like listing it on eBay.

So that was my trip to Flatirons Mall today. I also went to Best Buy, Pier 1 Imports and The Great Indoors. I did not buy much today...actually everything I bought fit into one small bag...but I did find two nice gifts for Dale, so the trip was not wasted, plus I got a cookie.

Haikus of Cold & Snow

We are on our fourth day in Arvada, CO where temperatures are in the 20 degree range. I am a bit over it and winter all together. I know, it is only November and we have a ways to go, but it is my feeling none the less. For those of you who know me, you know I am NOT a winter person.

I have composed a few haiku poems to present my feelings as I sit here and stair out into my backyard, thinking how I just want to stay inside all day and drink hot chocolate.

Draining; another day

of frost, cold and winter snow.

Lord please give me strength.

It has been too cold;

I'm over winter already.

When will it be spring?

Frost covers the ground,

snow clings thick and hard.

My world feels ice cold.

Cold only brings one

good thing in my opinion.

Hot chocolate; yum!

Bare tree limbs look sad;

embarrassingly naked

and shivering cold.

Snow looks so quiet,

from my back patio door.
But it crunches loud.

Another cold day.

Scarf, hat, mittens, coat and boots.

Bundling to keep warm.

Children love the snow,

adults get burden of the snow,

long to be a child.

New Store Steve & Barry's

Dale and I went to a great new clothing store tonight - Steve & Barry's. It is sort a a more chic version of Old Navy. Good clothes at quality prices. It just opened in Westminster on November 7th. There is a 2nd location scheduled to open in Littleton soon.

I liked the store a lot more than Dale did. Dale's dissatisfaction came mostly because he takes tall sizes and they do not carry anything like that. However, I found two shirts ($7.00 each), a sweatshirt ($10.00), a winter jacket ($10.00) and two pairs of jeans ($10.00 each)...so for me it was a great night out shopping. Dale did find two shirts ($10.00 each), so it was not all bad for him. So as you can see, great prices.

If you have not heard of Steve & Barry's yet, they are quite unique. They strive to offer quality clothes at very economic prices and from what I saw, they really did.

Check out their story.

...Steve & Barry's shoppers typically pay 50% to 90% less for the same quality clothing found at competing department and specialty stores. How do we do it? We’re a company of engineers. We strive to find solutions in every corner of our business, big or small, that allow us to charge incredibly low prices. Our innovations extend from the way we buy paper clips and desk chairs to the way we ship and distribute our products. It’s in our culture and our nature to scour for
savings wherever we can find them. We aspire to re-imagine the company daily...
And for those of you who love Sarah Jessica Parker, they are the exclusive retailer of her clothing line Bitten, which has 500 items, all of which retail for less than $19.98. I sound like a commercial, but I know since Dale watches Project Runway and she was on last week's episode.

Black Friday 2007

Dale and I just arrived back home from a few hours of shopping. There was nothing that really thrilled us in the circulars, so we did not head out at our usual 4:00 AM. Instead, we headed out at 10:00 AM.

Kohls was crazy, but I did get the one thing I wanted (actually six of them and I can't say what as they are Christmas gifts) and a sweatshirt for myself. Dale did not find anything he wanted. The lines were long and the store was busy, but since everything was practically 40% off or more, I can understand why. I love Kohls. I included a quick snap shot of Dale as he joined me in line.

Next, we headed to Target because, well we love Target. We were able to get half of our shopping done for my nieces/nephew and all of our shopping for the Krouts, so it was a successful trip. It was funny because Target was not that busy and almost felt like a normal crowd that would be shopping on any weekend.

I feel the major retailers did not do a great job of getting customers into their stores this year (for added proof check out the fact that our friend and co-worker Erin, did not get up early to hit the sales early either). I think the major retailers - Target, Walmart, etc. are just expecting to put discount DVD players and TVs on sale for their circulars and the folks will come running. They have done that the past few years and I think they have saturated the market for these specials. Somebody needs to do something different, something unusual, something fun. That will get the people out...otherwise, they will sleep in like today.

I read close to 50 circulars last night and saw nothing to draw me out. A boring Black Friday. No early morning, no excitement...just shopping. Sad.

A Rockband Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving at my sister, Rachel's house was a lot of fun and great food.

Her husband, Billy, (with some help from my oldest niece, Kristin) cooked a great traditional Thanksgiving. My personal favorite was the stuffing. I know I had blogged yesterday that nobody was able to create a stuffing that compared to my Mom's, but Billy was able to do it. I even took leftover stuffing home. The turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, corn, green beans and rolls were delicious. I do not eat sweet potatoes (to me if you have to put marshmallows on a vegetable, it can't be that good, right?), but Dale seemed to like them, as he took leftovers home. So dinner was a hit and of course, I feel like I ate too much, but it is a holiday.

Dinner was followed by Dale and my introduction to the Xbox 360 game Rockband. What is Rockband you ask?

...Rock Band is an all-new platform for gamers ready to take on the challenges of the Rock & Roll lifestyle. Instruments available to players are guitar, bass, drums or vocals as they hit the road as either an aspiring superstar solo act, or for the first time in game genre history take on the true collaborative and challenging nature of music as they form a band and jam together in multiplayer action from home or around the world.

Still wonder what Rockband is? It is pure, hysterical fun. We had a total blast and it may prove to be a new Thanksgiving tradition. Dale and I totally sucked at the game, but my nieces, Kristin, Lauren, Jillian and Camryn proved to be stars, as did my nephew, Ryan and my niece, Kristin's boyfriend, TJ. We got to hear their musical stylings of Creep's Radiohead, Bon Jovi's Dead of Alive and I'm Paranoid by Garbage. And yes, that would be my niece Jillian shaking her ass on the couch singing (she is the one we expect to become a stripper one-day, so proud!).


Rockband was suspended for some dessert. TJ had an entire vat of blue jello and refused to share it with anyone. Apparently, TJ is afraid of all other favors of jello, but oddly finds comfort (his happy place) in the berry blueness of blue jello. The rest of us shared in the pleasure of apple pie and Dale's peppermint ice cream pie. Everything was very tasty. Well, we assume the blue jello was tasty, but as stated, TJ would not share.

More Rockband, followed by my favorite recent Thanksgiving tradition - Friend's trivia brought in the form of Friend's Scene It. This is a great game that brings together video clips from the hit show Friends. Since my nieces (my nephew Ryan apparently has better things to do) watch the show on DVD constantly and know far too much about the show (not that I don't). It is a blast to see us all compete to answer such random and useless questions. It is pure joy for me...especially since my niece, Kristin is so competitive.

Dale and I finally called it a night, said our farewells and drove our Mini Cooper, Elvira, home in the thick, thick fog. It was a great Thanksgiving filled with family, fun, old traditions and some new. My thanks to the Hanley's for a wonderful evening.

I thought everyone would enjoy some photos of us rocking it out!

A Letter To Sara

Sara,

Good news. Your favorite, Hello Kitty, was added to the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade and just made her first appearance. I knew you would miss it since you were at the Turkey Trot, so I went to Google and someone already had a pic added (technology is scary). Enjoy and Happy Thanksgiving.

Your pal

Tom

Thanksgiving Memories

As a child, Thanksgiving meant three things to me - my Mom, the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade on TV and giblets from the turkey. My Mom was truly an amazing person, who made the holidays so very special.

My Mom would start Thanksgiving for me with a nice breakfast and get me situated watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. I always loved the parade. It seemed so pure and magical to me. To me, it is amazing that an 80+ year tradition continues to live on. In a time of technology and interactive media, it is nice that little has changed in the parade. It is still filled with love, singing, dancing, marching bands and cartoon character balloons. My favorites were always the balloons from the Peanuts comic strip.

Looking back now, I also realize the Parade also started my love of Broadway theatre and musicals too. I would see the actors do their songs and dances in the parade and would long to see their shows. Once I was in college, trips to see Broadway musicals became standard and continue to this day.

By the time the three hour broadcast of the parade was almost winding down, my Mom would have my turkey giblets ready. I know most of you see the giblets in the turkey as something you simply throw away with disgust since they are the heart, liver, gizzard and neck. Your loss, as they are truly delicious. You really should give them a try. None the less, I love them and I always felt special that my Mom would save them for me (even though My Dad liked the giblets too). It was something that she did for me.

The day then usually involved playing games with my family, watching movies and napping before the highpoint of the day - my Mom's Thanksgiving dinner. My Mom was not one to love cooking, but there were a few things she cooked so well, that I have never found anyone to surpass her abilities. They included her homemade chili, chicken noodle soup and Thanksgiving dinner. To this day, there is no stuffing that will ever compare to my Mom's stuffing.

After dinner usually came more napping, several more trips to the kitchen for desserts and more fun as a family. Best of all, it usually kicked off the start of the Christmas season. We would start pulling out the Christmas decorations, so we could start decorating the next day. My Mom loved Christmas, so she always wanted the decorations up as soon as possible. To this day, Christmas is just a special time of year for me because every decoration, holiday light, candy cane and present is a reminder of my Mom, her love and joy she held in her heart.

I lost my Mom almost five years ago, after her long battle with cancer. I was sad to lose her so early (she was only 53 years old), but blessed to have her for my first 31 years. She was truly an angel in life and I know she is an angel now. She helped to make me the man I am today and I love her dearly for all the sacrifices she made in life for me. I love her and the holidays will always be in honor of her life, love and spirit.

Thanksgiving Day was also the day we read all the newspaper circulars and planned our Friday shopping spree. We always went shopping the Friday after Thanksgiving. This was more my Dad, than my Mom. The man loves a challenge, bless his heart and he loved the rush of shopping at 6 AM the day after Thanksgiving. He worked retail at K-Mart in his 20's, so I think he always had the retail bug in him and loved the door busters and discounts. So he would wake my Sister and I up (or some years try to), so we could tag along. When we were older and had driver's license, he would give us our assignments and we would each be at different stores at 6 AM with our lists. We would be racing for $20 VCRs or $40 portable DVD players. The day after Thanksgiving or Black Friday, will always remind me of my Dad and to Dale's frustration, I keep this tradition alive each year, hitting Kohls and Target before dawn. I also love the excitement of it all, more than anything.

My Dad now lives in Pennsylvania and I know he will be out tomorrow hitting the stores starting around 4 AM, searching for great deals and doorbusters that will bring smiles to everyone on Christmas Day. He is probably the most giving man I have ever met. All he wants to do is make everyone else happy and ensure they have anything and everything they need. He is a great man and although we do not have as much in common as I would like or talk as much as we should, I am proud he is my Father.

So now I make new traditions. I have Dale, who I love and I am blessed to have spent the last four Thanksgivings with and will be sharing all my future Thanksgiving. He brings such joy to my life and for him I am truly thankful. He is my best friend, my love and the person who I share all of my life. Words will never express the love I feel for him.

We spent this morning making four pies (thanks Heather Sharp for the great recipe), shared a wonderful breakfast and have settled in together on the couch to watch the parade. We are headed to my sister, Rachel's house this evening to share the holiday with her, her husband, my four nieces and my nephew. It will be a fun reminder of my past as we play some games and share dinner. It will never compare to my Mom's Thanksgivings, but it is a close second and I know she is looking down from heaven and is very happy that my sister and I, no matter how different we are, still find a way to keep each other in our lives.

So those are my memories of Thanksgiving. A day each year that always held a special place in my heart and I hope always will. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Thanks Barb & Zoey

Our friend Barb (and her wonderful yellow Labrador, Zoey) surprised us yesterday by having a beautiful Thanksgiving flower arrangement delivered to us. We got it when we got home from work yesterday and it was the perfect way to start the holiday. I thought everyone could enjoy in the beauty of the flowers too, so I added some pics.  Thank you Barb & Zoey. We are truly thankful and blessed to have you in our lives. Happy Thanksgiving.

Mike Minton Jail Hawaii

Search engines are funny.

This past Sunday I received a report from Lijit of the top searches that drove traffic to my site. Usually such a report would not make me laugh or deserve a blog posting, but I found this report to be quite interesting. The top search to my site on Sunday was several searches on Google for Mike Minton Jail Hawaii. Now, many of you know my friend and co-worker, Mike Minton. He is currently in Michigan and obviously not the Mike they were searching (or is he).

The reason why my site returns such relevant results is interesting (well at least to me). I have a post from November 5th titled Prison Break. This blog posting references our dogs breaking out of their jail for the day and taking control of our house. When that page is viewed, in the right navigation, you can see a link to another blog entry called Mike Minton was LATE TO A MEETING...spread the word. Finally, my blog features a picture of me with text under it that reads Me in Hawaii. This is why my site is the expert on Mike Minton Jail Hawaii. Funny, huh? Several different posts and suddenly I get traffic that has nothing to do with me or my blog.

The other top search was Mike and Robin Minton. So it starts to make me wonder whether or not our Mike has a secret wife, named Robin and a life in Hawaii. Perhaps he is NOT in Michigan. Perhaps he took Erin to Michigan and "claimed" to go hunting for several days with family, but in reality he hopped a plane to Hawaii to visit his "other" wife Robin. Well, the stress of keeping two separate lives finally got to Mike, so he (and his wife, Robin) hit a few bars and Mike got liquored up. Too many beers and some punches are thrown when a local surfer hits on Robin and Mike Minton ends up in jail in Hawaii. Poor Robin is frantic trying to find what precinct they took her husband, so she searches Google. Next thing you know, she is on my blog and learns her Mike lives in Colorado and has a wife named Erin. The drama of it all.

Erin may want to check Mike's luggage for pineapples when he comes back from "hunting".

Tom Cruise Is Too Short

Okay, I know this is going to be an unpopular post with many of the men who read this blog, but here goes...brace yourselves. Top Gun is NOT a good movie. Yes, I said it and I stand by this statement.

Each morning, our gym, Dumbbells Too, plays a movie, since they still do not have cable or satellite (don't get me started on that). Although this is probably violating some Federal regulation on the public broadcast of DVDs, I accept it because I like the distraction at 5:30 AM, when I am trying to pretend I like working out (I personally don't, but I am trying to be healthy and get in shape - 20 pounds down, 40 more to go - ugh!).

So back to Top Gun. As you can probably guess, that was this mornings DVD selection and I found this is the favorite movie of our morning movie host and desk jockey, Jason. He said he used to watch it almost every day as a teenager and in his early 20's. Okay, I have seen the movie before, but not in decades and probably not since it was released in the mid 1980s, so I figured, great, something different to watch (especially since we were shown Groundhog's Day every day for almost a week last month - it truly felt like Groundhog's Day, but again - don't get me started).

I have now witnessed why every boy that was between the ages of 13 and 21 in 1986 (the year Top Gun was released - I checked) has a total hard on (yes, you heard me) for this movie and lists it as their "favorite". It is every man's fantasy (well, at least every straight man's fantasy).

1. You have the cocky guy (played by a far too short Tom Cruise) who defies authority and gets to fly a fighter jet. Okay, every guy wants to buck the system and fly a big toy, I get that.

2. You have the cocky guy (still played by the ever short Tom Cruise) who goes to bars and picks up every and any woman he wants using cheesy pick up lines. This is how most men think dating works and why so many of my buddies in college and beyond seemed hopeless...they learned how to talk to woman from Tom Cruise.

3. You have the unattainable woman (played by the overly masculine Kelly McGillis, who was far too tall for Tom Cruise and in my opinion likes look he could totally kick his ass in just about anything) that is attained and again, every man's fantasy of having what you should not or cannot have.

4. You have a motorcycle. Again, I get it, another toy (this move just cries out to men over-compensating for a small penis...this is a shrink's wet dream).

5. You have cheesy male aggression and banter. I mean who talks like this and again, it explains why men can't talk to each other, let alone woman. For example:

Iceman: You two really are cowboys.
Maverick: What's your problem, Kazanski?
Iceman: You're everyone's problem. That's because every time you go up in the air, you're unsafe. I don't like you because you're dangerous.
Maverick: That's right! Ice... man. I am dangerous.

6. You have the cocky guy (yes, Tom Cruise is still short) who finds humility and becomes a man. This however is the part of the movie that every guy out there seems to forget...they remember the jets, the motorcycle, the cheesy pick up lines, the cool names like Maverick and Iceman...but not the fact that Maverick grows up at the end and he himself probably realizes he was a total asshole all along too. He probably wouldn't hang out with himself anymore, if he could.

So I am sorry to say, this is not a great movie and I sadly think it helped to define a whole generation of men who are now between the ages of 34 and 42 and are wondering if they could still go to a bar and pick up a woman singing You've Lost That Loving Feeling by the Righteous Brothers (a great song that should not be degraded this way). If you are one of these me, let me help answer this for you. You can't!

Also on a side note, this movie has the creepiest gay vibe I have ever seen in a movie. It truly was the Brokeback Mountain of the 80's if you ask me. The sexual tension between Maverick and Iceman seemed odd...hell, I was thinking they were going to start making out at any moment (and since he was into butch Kelly McGillis, pretty-boy Val Kilmer should be an easy transition). I validated my theory on Google and came across this YouTube video that shows my theory is fairly accurate - check it out.

For those of you who love this movie, I apologize for this blog. I do not mean to destroy the foundation of your manhood.

On the bright side, the movie does feature a young, Meg Ryan, before she was corrupted by the Hollywood machine and was forced to appear in movies such as Addicted to Love and Against the Ropes (I think I will rent Sleepless in Seattle and When Harry Met Sally this weekend).

Supermarket Sweep Looks Like More Fun Than It Is - Believe Me!

Dale and I went grocery shopping late this afternoon. Usually, I take on this chore myself, but since this trip involves getting everything we need for Thanksgiving, I figured I would ask Dale to come along, so I was sure we were stocked up.

I found out why this was not the best idea.

1. Dale treats grocery shopping like a race. Apparently you have to get in and get out as fast as possible. If any of you remember the game show, Supermarket Sweeps, this was exactly how it felt. I was waiting for a bell to go off to announce we won something.

2. Dale wanders off. He thinks of something we need and goes and gets it. I know. Crazy, huh? Everyone knows you do not get that item until you get to that aisle. You can't go running all over the store. You do aisle by aisle. I am there just as much to browse, as I am to follow a list. How else will I get cookies? They are never on my list. They just come upon me in aisle 7.

3. Dale makes others think I am crazy. As I said, Dale wanders. I could handle wondering if I knew about it, but Dale just disappears. On several occasions today, I was talking to Dale to turn and find no Dale. I had a nice conversation with a complete stranger next to me in the Meat Department, who I thought was Dale. I asked him twice if he wanted pork chops for dinner this week, thinking he was Dale. I guess the man was afraid I was going to ask a third time because he said "I don't know, but the guy you were with might. He went over to the soda aisle. See there he is." Yeah, I'm crazy and ask random men if they want pork for dinner.

4. Dale hates the grocery store and gives you looks every time you stop to look at something. Additionally, he thinks every person who bags groceries never buys their own groceries or they would never bag things that way (I have to agree on this...who puts shampoo and milk together or apples on top of the bread).

So lesson learned. I will go grocery shopping alone from now on. But that means, Dale gets no Starbucks as a treat because that is what I usually do as my reward for going (don't tell Dale, it is a secret).

But, please do not feel bad for me because usually while I am grocery shopping, Dale is doing yard work...so it all balances out. I would provide you a list of my Tom should not be allowed to do yard work, but why make myself look bad, right? This is my blog after all.

A Huntin' We Will Go!

My friend and co-worker, Mike, is back in Michigan this week for the Thanksgiving holiday and to go hunting with his Brothers and Father. Based on his description of hunting, I expect his hunting trip to look something like this scene.

I am sure there will be some good hunting stories (books read, beers drank, text messages sent), so be sure to check out his blog to see if there was a deer that steals his food.

Truth

Do you believe in fortune cookie fortunes?

We had Chinese food for dinner tonight (yummy, but not a part of my diet). Anyhow, here is my fortune:

"Only tears can bring a dreamer back to earth."

It got me wondering if people really do believe their fortunes. I am not one to believe cookies, except when they call out for me to eat them. However, I have known people who get very excited by their fortunes. I even knew a woman who had saved every fortune she ever opened since she was a child (I am actually jealous of this because I am sure they make a great conversation piece).

I think most people just like to believe in something and if it is a cookie telling them they will find success or their lucky number is 5, then I think it just makes them feel good.

I personally like the practice of adding "in bed" to every fortune. I have taught my nieces and nephew this (yes, I am the the uncle that teaches children all the stuff their parents do not want then to know) and it proves to bring laughter to them each time. So here is my new fortune:

"Only tears can bring a dreamer back to earth in bed."

Again, not the most exciting fortune, but a bit more profound. I am sure if you are crying in bed, it is never good.

I also personally think they should start making negative fortunes...imagine you open your cookie and it reads, "You have 47 days to live...sorry." or "The man at the next table is an assassin sent to kill you. Run!".

Three Favorite Songs of the Week

This past week was one of those weeks that test you. It tests your resolve, your abilities and the person who you are or at least think you are.

Feeling tired and a bit melancholy, I always seem to turn to Peter Gabriel. I became a fan of Peter Gabriel in high school and my love for his words expanded in college. He does not cheer me up, but his lyrics seem wise and makes me feel like it is okay to feel down from time to time. I love his slower ballads, in particular Don't Give Up, a duet with Kate Bush.

Give him a listen. There is so much more to his music that In Your Eyes or Sledgehammer, I promise.

Don't Give Up a duet with Kate Bush from Peter Gabriel's 1986 album, So.




Here Comes the Flood from Peter Gabriel's 1977 album, Peter Gabriel and 1990's album, Shaking the Tree - Sixteen Golden Greats.




Solsbury Hill from Peter Gabriel's 1977 album, Peter Gabriel and 1990's album, Shaking the Tree - Sixteen Golden Greats.

Much Needed Pearls of Wisdom

I stumbled upon this today and after a long hard week, it was a funny reminder on living your life and not taking it too seriously. Enjoy!

Pearls of Wisdom

"Twenty-Five Things It Took Me Over 50 Years To Learn" by Dave Barry

1. The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it.
2. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight-saving time.
3. People who feel the need to tell you that they have an excellent sense of humor are telling you that they have no sense of humor.
4. The most valuable function performed by the federal government is entertainment.
5. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
6. A penny saved is worthless.
7. They can hold all the peace talks they want, but there will never be peace in the Middle East. Billions of years from now, when Earth is hurtling toward the Sun and there is nothing left alive on the planet except a few microorganisms, the microorganisms living in the Middle East will be bitter enemies.
8. The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.
9. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe that we are above-average drivers.
10. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 11.
11. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
12. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
13. There apparently exists, somewhere in Los Angeles, a computer that generates concepts for television sitcoms. When TV executives need a new concept, they turn on this computer; after sorting through millions of possible plot premises, it spits out, "THREE QUIRKY BUT ATTRACTIVE YOUNG PEOPLE LIVING IN AN APARTMENT," and the executives turn this concept into a show. The next time they need an idea, the computer spits out, "SIX QUIRKY BUT ATTRACTIVE YOUNG PEOPLE LIVING IN AN APARTMENT." Then the next time, it spits out, "FOUR QUIRKY BUT ATTRACTIVE YOUNG PEOPLE LIVING IN AN APARTMENT." And so on. We need to locate this computer and destroy it with hammers.
14. Nobody is normal.
15. At least once per year, some group of scientists will become very excited and announce that:
    

    The universe is even bigger than they thought!
    There are even more subatomic particles than they thought!
    Whatever they announced last year about global warming is wrong.

16. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."
17. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.
18. The value of advertising is that it tells you the exact opposite of what the advertiser actually thinks. For example:
    

    If the advertisement says "This is not your father's Oldsmobile," the advertiser is desperately concerned that this Oldsmobile, like all other Oldsmobiles, appeals primarily to old farts like your father.
    If Coke and Pepsi spend billions of dollars to convince you that there are significant differences between these two products, both companies realize that Pepsi and Coke are virtually identical.
    If the advertisement strongly suggests that Nike shoes enable athletes to perform amazing feats, Nike wants you to disregard the fact that shoe brand is unrelated to athletic ability.
    If Budweiser runs an elaborate advertising campaign stressing the critical importance of a beer's "born-on" date, Budweiser knows this factor has virtually nothing to do with how good a beer tastes.

19. If there really is a God who created the entire universe with all of its glories, and He decides to deliver a message to humanity, He will not use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.
20. You should not confuse your career with your life.
21. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
22. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
23. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.
24. Your friends love you anyway.
25. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

Originally published in Dave Barry's 1999 book, Dave Barry Turns 50.

He likes to play with no pants too.

I heard two funny comments today. Both we hysterical to me and even funnier when not put in context, so I thought I would share.

"...you have to meet my friend Michael. He likes to play with no pants too."

"...I know it hurts. I wanted to do it in high school because I used to have a high threshold for pain then. When I used to stab myself in the leg..."

When placed in context, both of these comments are not remotely as crazy as they sound and the person who said both (yes, one person was this random today) of these quotes is actually quite sane and stable. That is what makes it even funnier to me.

I needed a laugh this evening and these comments did it. My thanks to the wonderful person who has friends with no pants and stopped stabbing herself in the leg.

And for that I am truly thankful.

Yesterday was a tough day. It was a bit colder than it has been. It was Wednesday and it felt like it should have been Thursday. I had too many meetings, so I fell behind in my own work and emails. I had to make dinner.I ended up having to do three hours of work at home to get caught up. So overall, not a horrible day...just tough and a bit draining.

At 9:00 PM last night, I finished up getting caught up on email and checked my personal email, in particular my AOL account. It is an account I really do not use much anymore, as I am a gmail guy, but a few friends from my past still have this email address.

I opened my mail to find nine emails (eight SPAM, which is why I hate this account) and one email that made me smile and made the day not seem that bad after all. It was from my childhood friend, Mike Flynn. It was what I needed at that moment.

For those of you who read this blog and do not know Mike Flynn (which is probably most of you), it is unfortunate. He is probably the most sincere, genuine and kindest person I have ever met outside of my partner, Dale. He just has an energy and personality that is infectious (in a good way). You just want to be around the guy.

I first met Mike in 6th grade. I was very introverted as a child. I had horrible speech problems growing up, so I had to attend speech class, which always made me feel different. To make matters worse, my 3rd grade teacher made me read aloud in front of the class once and when I stumbled on a word (I could not pronounce consonant blends like the "sch" in school, so it would come out like shool), she made fun of me in front of the entire class. It just pushed me further into my shell. Mike Flynn was the person that pulled me out of this shell and made things fun for me again. I became good friends with him and another classmate named Kurt Gibbs. I will always love Mike for what he did for me and in many ways, I feel Mike is partially responsible for the person I have become today.

We were always friends throughout junior high school and high school. Not necessarily best friends, but always friends (as different circles develop during these ages). After high school, we did not do a great job of staying in touch, but have always reconnected over the years and I ever had the opportunity to see him again several years ago.

At that time, I got to see his house and meet his wife Heather, who like Mike is absolutely wonderful. She is beautiful, intelligent and what came through most of all in meeting her was her love of Mike, their children and their life together. She is one of those people who you can tell was born to be a Mom. I also got to spend some time with their amazing children, Evan and Lily. Evan was full of energy, questions and very much like his Dad as a child. Lily was very dainty and angelic. I have not had the opportunity to meet their latest addition Declan, but I am am sure with such amazing parents, he is also wonderful.

I am glad I met Mike in the 6th grade because he changed my life for the better. I am honored to have had him as my friend in some fashion for over 20 years. I am glad that when I needed a smile yesterday, he was able to provide that even though he is 1,800 miles away. The thing that truly brings me comfort is that I know that although Mike lives on the other side of the country, he has a hectic life, has his family, his friends and other commitments, I know that if I needed him or anything, he would do whatever he could. He is that type of person. It is nice knowing there is someone like that in the world and in your corner.

And for that I am truly thankful.

How To Make Your Emails Sing

This is just a funny, gimmicky site called Let Them Sing It For You that allows you to enter text into a interface and it uses popular music clips to play the text.

The fun part is you can email your message to people. Just something fun to do for someone. I personally think it would be a funny way to break up with someone....you know a great way to ease the pain. Your own personal singing telegram of the 21st Century.

I even created on for all of you....check it out here.

What Should I Read Next?

I love to share interesting sites I come across. I found this site a few weeks back and it has proven to be very good for me. I have odd preferences in books. I like unusual books and I prefer books from decades ago, but finding these books proves hard because most newspapers like to review new books - go figure.

The site What Should I Read Next? does a great job of matching books you like to other books based on other readers reviews.

Enter a book you like and the site will analyze our database of real readers' favorite books (over 32,000 and growing) to suggest what you could read next.(You can register on the results page and build your own favorites list).

The site is simple and does a good job.

3 Favorite Songs of the Week

Okay, three random songs that I like, but random like me. Often for me, songs are a great way of remembering a good time or bringing out emotion. These are some examples of songs that do just that.

I Wonder by Kellie Pickler from her 2006 CD, A Small Town Girl. I know you are thinking, Kellie Pickler, American Idol, cheesy, bad country. I don't care. She sang this song at the Country Music Awards and she and the song were touching and beautiful. A new favorite.

Breathe Me by Sia from her 2004 CD, Colour The Small One. This song is best know from the finale of Six Feet Under. It is haunting and her voice just penetrates you. I find myself going to this song on days when I am feeling melancholy or blue. It does not lift my spirits, but helps me understand that I am not alone in my feelings.


 
Bittersweet by Big Head Todd and the Monsters from their 1993 CS, Sister Sweetly. Just a good rock song. This song just reminds me of a laid back day where you kick back with your friends in a bar. This was the early 90's for me and it always reminds me of a bar back in Vermont I used to go to with friends after work. One days where I feel out of sort, this song helps to balance me.